Background Check!

My New Year's Resolution for 2009: Invest in A Background Check on my Gentlemen Callers!
I've decided that I'm going to start doing background checks on the guys that I date. Not just any guy, mainly the ones that I start investing interest in. Let's see, hmmmm....after about the 3rd date, I think it will be safe to invest $29.99 and find out if he is actually worth my time.

The background check isn't to find out if he has a six figure income or if he lives in a house atop a hill. It is to find out if said guy is actually who he portrays to be! This bright idea didn't come about out of sheer nosiness or boredom. It is has come from a place of necessity. What is the likelihood of one single woman, becoming involved in some form or fashion with (3) married men, disguised as single men, in a 4 month period?! That has been the common theme in my dating lane experiences as of late.

I think it has most to do with the fact that most of the men I date, live in other cities. I used to think that dating men long distance was a good thing. The whole "absence makes the heart grow fonder" deal, coupled with the fact that I love SPACE, made dating long distance a-ok in my book. What I am beginning to learn in my older age, is that distance tends to allow more room for dishonesty. The distance allows some dishonest men (and I'm sure women as well) to live double lives. They can take a break from the monotony of their everyday lives and MARRIAGES and travel down south for a great time with a great girl.

In a conversation with one of the "wives" she brought to my attention that her husband stated to her in a recent email "Maybe I do want to be single sometimes...maybe I do want to meet a woman with no children who can get up and go whenever...maybe I do want to have an equal partner that actually brings something to the table, someone who dresses differently and has style and class." She actually sent me that email correspondence between the two of them. Doesn't this sound JUST like me?? Am I now someone's conquest? I felt so sorry for her! She seemed so sweet and sounded so hurt when she found out that not only was he thinking of doing such, he actually WAS!

Out of the (3) of them, only (1) actually took me by surprise. The other two I haven't known for an extended period, and basically were still in the "getting to know you" phase. Though they each exhibited their own share of sketchy behavior that set off my inner alarm, it was nothing that would have led me to believe that they had WIVES. The exception, however, I have known for years and I was totally blind-sided and disappointed when I found at that he has been omitting the fact that he married the mother of his child. Lies of omission are still LIES. I can't help but think that if I would have done a little investigation, I would have known before hand that none of these guys were worth my time. Their representatives were in full effect and shielded the assholes that resided within. This is enough to make any sane woman crazy! I totally feel Jazmine Sullivan and understand why some women "Bust Windows Out of Cars!" As she says, "You may think it's juvenile, but I think I deserve a reason to smile."

So...All the Single Ladies...$29.99 is worth your time!

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California Adventures: Life's A Beach!

I've known "Alabama" for over 5 yrs now, and though he and I never lived in the same city, we have always kept up communication and maintained an acquaintance-ship. I hadn't seen him in over a year, and when he got wind that I would be on the West Coast, he jumped at the opportunity to meet up with me since he too, was in Southern California at the time.

He sent me a message asking if I was still in L.A. When I replied yes, he immediately sent me another message that said "San Diego?" I texted him back, "Are you inviting me to San Diego? If so when?" He said "of course I am! I will be there this Thurs and will prob stay until Sat or possibly even Sun. Bring your swim suit." That was music to my ears. I had yet to make it to the beach since being out here, and my body was thirsting for UV rays. So the following Thursday, I packed a small bag that mainly consisted of flimsy summer dresses and a couple of swim suits in anticipation of my beach trip. I brought along a novel, and some info on the product launch from my company to read while basking in the sun. I was siked!

I was able to weasel my way out of a seminar and a few team building activities scheduled for Friday, jump into my rented car and embark on a road trip down the 101 heading South to San Diego. Armed with my trusty Ipod and a bottle of Evian, I was ready to roll. I updated the Tom Tom on where I needed to be....La Jolla, CA- baby!

I arrived shortly after 10pm. Even though Tom Tom told me it would take about an hour and 38 minutes, with the 101 traffic, it took me nearly 3.5 hrs instead. YIKES! A little flustered from the ride, my frown turned upside down at the sight of Alabama walking toward me in the parking lot. He greeted me with a huge bear hug and that mega-watt smile of his. He grabbed my bags and led me into the condo and introduced me to the three young men sitting on the couch. They were all called Coach so-and -so, which led me to believe that they were all colleagues.

Alabama was on a recruiting trip, which is the reason he was in Southern California. He accompanied by his grad assistant to seal the deal between his school's athletic program and one of their prospects. The other guys were coaches at the prospect's current school and had been friends of Alabama's from his college days.

They were waiting on me to arrive so that we could have a night out on the town. I ran upstairs, changed my clothes and joined them in the living room where they were discussing....sports. The only girl in a group of men, I eventually became comfortable as the night progressed. They were taking shots called Jäger-Bombs; Jägermeister and beer. I knew immediately that I would be the designated driver. The night went on and turned in to morning. We stopped to grab a bite to eat before stumbling in at 5am. Two of the guys never made it out of the backseat of the SUV; they spent the night in the truck.

Alabama woke me up at about 10am and told me to get dressed because the place we were staying in had been rented out for the weekend. I overheard him telling one of his co-workers the night before, that we would be relocating to the nearby Embassy Suites Hotel. So, I got up, took a shower and proceeded to put on my Happy Face (what I call my make-up application). Alabama came into the room to grab my bag and put it in the trunk of my car. I was assuming that I would follow him and the grad assistant to the Embassy Suites Hotel as they checked into the room that we were to stay in for the next night or two.

Seated in my car, ready to follow them, Alabama walks up to the driver's side window and taps on it. I rolled it down and he proceeded to lean in and give me a kiss. He said "Thanks for coming to see me, drive safely."
SCCCCREEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAACCCHHHHHH!!!!!!
"Huh?", I replied confused as hell. "Where am I going?" He looked at me and said "Back to L.A." I gave him a blank stare. He proceeded with "I mean, I'm going to hit the road to drive back home myself. We don't have a place to stay."

It turned out that the Booster whose condo it was that we stayed in the night before, had rented out the condo to a couple on vacation for the weekend. Alabama had just been told of the arrangements the night before, and had made no other accommodations for us to stay elsewhere. When asked about the Embassy Suites deal, he said that it was $300 a night and he wouldn't be reimbursed for it. I sat there in disbelief with him staring back at me.

After a few minutes of silence, I bid my farewell to Alabama, as I mentally prepared myself to hit the road. Here it was, a little over 12 hours since I had arrived, and I was about to get back on the 101 and spend another 3.5 hrs in traffic before making it back to L.A. WTF?!

Reading my facial expression, I am sure Alabama knew that I was PISSED. He looked at me and said "Don't tell me that it wasn't worth it," with a sly grin. I let him know very politely that, no one and nothing is worth such a turn around trip and the time I wasted. I took off a day, spent $100 plus dollars all to play designated driver for a night??? I think not!

I drove down the winding road in La Jolla lined with sandy white beaches and asked myself "Why are you leaving again?" After all, I had been looking forward to hitting the beach for days. I got on the phone, called my dad, and asked him if he could book me a hotel room at the Embassy Suites. I found a Wal-Mart, bought myself a beach umbrella and a towel and headed for the Beach!

I sat under the umbrella most of the day with my notepad and a pencil. I spent some time with myself re-evaluating my life and my (mis)-adventures in dating. It was very tranquil. I was able to create several goals for myself, both long-term and short-term. But most importantly, I was able to reflect on my worth and my value.

One of the most important lessons that a father can set for his daughter is the standard by which men should treat her. It is through her father, that a woman learns what to accept and what not to accept from men. It is by his example that she sees the way a man is supposed to interact with a woman he is dating or married to. Because of the example that my father has set for me, I know that if I was not worth a simple $300 hotel room to him than he is NOT a man that I should even be associated with.

I am not a prima-donna, but I know how a man is suppose to treat me. My dad has taught me that if a man can't do what he has done for me or better, than I have no need for said man in my life. I understand that the economy is bad and people don't have as much cash flow as they need to. But I also understand that it is about simple communication. Had Alabama come to me shooting straight from the hip about the accommodations, then I would have been able to tell him that my father was an HHonors member and enough points for us to have a free hotel room for a couple of nights. But instead, he chose not to say anything and assume that I knew we had no where to go.

I spent the night in La Jolla and woke up the next morning to hit the beach for a final time before getting back on the road. Though the trip didn't end up the way it was planned, it had a much better ending. I was able to see Alabama's true colors, but most importantly, I was able to spend some time with ME.

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Dating Chronicles: Baller on a Budget aka BOB

I wrote a post yesterday about the guy I call Baller on a Budget or BOB. By popular demand, I have decided to chronicle one of our dates.

For the purposes of this story we will call one of the major players in this story, one of my good girl-friends, Kelsey. Kelsey and I had just finished complaining about our 1st of the month blues...every bill under the sun was due at the 1st of the month for she and I. With that being said, in order for us to remain fiscally responsible, self-funded recreational activities had to be scaled down a bit until mid-month. Later that same evening I received a phone call from BOB inviting Kelsey and I to a popular adult entertainment spot in the city. I accepted, after all, BOB and I hadn't hung out in a while and I missed him. I was to be leaving town soon for work and wouldn't return to the city for at least a month. BOB had a friend visiting and he wanted to show him a good time. So we set up a time to meet up later that evening.

I joked with Kelsey about how we should probably eat and drink at my house so that we would avoid having to spend money. I know how BOB rolls, and being that he is a Baller on a Budget, I wasn't convinced that the entire date would be funded by he and his comrade. So that's exactly what we did. I cooked dinner, made my special cocktail and we set out to meet up at the spot with BOB and his friend.

The night started off at the bar, where, surprisingly BOB picked up the tab. "Cool," I though to myself. Then he left the bartender a tip...$2.00; which was less than 10% of the total bill. WTF? In an effort to not emasculate him, I went in my purse and put up 3 additional dollars (the last of my cash) when he turned away from the bar. Kelsey was watching the entire time.

The night progressed and BOB's friend picked up the 2nd round of drinks. We were all having a good time. There were no sparks between Kelsey and the friend, but they got along pretty well. We made our rounds throughout the entertainment spot and decided to go to another section. Upon entering said section, I offered to pay for a round of drinks, and of course that offer wasn't declined. As we walked to the bar Kelsey told me that I was out of line. I figured it was the least I could do. Me, being the Captain Save-A-Hoe that I am, thought that it was only appropriate to do so since no one else was making an effort, and we all needed drinks! So to the bar we went, and to the bartender I paid. It wasn't THAT expensive, but I did indeed buy a round of drinks. Kelsey, well, she made no effort to go into her purse.

At some point BOB made a mention of ordering shots. When I noticed that there was talk about exiting the place, I asked BOB "What happened to the shots?" He looked me dead in my face and said "no more money left." Ok! How about that for honesty?! LOL. We ended the night soon after and we departed in the parking lot and went our separate ways.

As I was driving home that night I thought about something. The entire week I hadn't seen BOB, but I had eaten out and gone to several happy hours and spent not one dime. Every time I went out, I went out with a man who had no problem picking up the tab and would have cringed at the thought of me putting up $1 toward the meal or buying one round of drinks. So why was I now in a situation where I not only bought a round of drinks for BOB and his friend, but, I was also in the very awkward position of not being able to make the most of the night because I was worried about how much I would cost him. Though I enjoy his company, it's beginning to be a burden.

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Is Dating on Reality TV Really Dating?

I have to admit that I can not get with the program of these reality dating shows. I just can't find it in me to allow myself to totally believe the foolishness that is shown. I mean seriously, what woman in her right mind would want to date Flavor Flav? What woman do you know (with something going for herself), would willingly reside in a house full of other women as she competes against them for a total stranger's adoration and praise? Ummmm, I don't know of any. Where do they find these chics that participate?

When The Bachelor first hit TV a few years back, I tuned in out of sheer curiosity. What appalled me is the desperation that these ladies reaked of. The way that would stop at nothing to get the attention of a man they thought was an heir to a fortune. How they would make decisions to spend the night with him and kiss him after knowing that just a few hours ago he was with another woman, doing the same thing. That made my teeth itch. To me, there is nothing more degrading than women COMPETING for a man. I often wonder if, in the course of these shows, does it become more about the competition than it does about the relationship. After all, that's really what they are there for- a relationship, right? So at some point does it become less about the actual guy and more about winning?

I wonder if at some point these chics realize that the man is full of ish, and he really isn't their type. I'm sure that has happened. It is only natural for you to think less of a man slobbing down some chick in a hot tub that he has known for less than 24 hrs. It has to make you think twice about his credibility. But will any of the women on these shows ever speak out about it? NOPE. I believe they won't because at that point it has become more about the show and not about the relationship.

The Bachelorette and I Love New York are spin offs from the original shows The Bachelor and Flavor of Love. These shows have flipped the script and put the woman in charge of finding a mate out of a sea of men. This is even more unbelievable. Men definitely hate competition when it comes to women. Open competition that is. I'm sorry, but the man that is my HIM is not ok with living in the same house for an unprecidented amount of weeks- first off. Call me elitist, but my HIM is not ok with the possibility of me swapping spit with random men, including him.

Even if it's just for fun dating purposes, quality men and women would be nowhere near these shows. I know, I know, it's all satire and made for television. Well, call it that then...don't call it reality TV.

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NOT AGAIN!

I met Mac over 5 years ago. He was a very charming man and was like a little local celebrity in the town we resided in. Everyone knew him and loved him. Our initial interaction was at an Exxon Station…it was 6am, and I was leaving my current boyfriend’s home en route to work and had to make a pit stop for gas. He was on his way to work as well. We were on opposite pumps from each other. He nodded in acknowledgement of my presence; I returned the nod with a faint smile. A few minutes later I stumbled inside of the Exxon Station to pay for my gas and the attendee told me that the gentleman on pump 8 had already taken care of it. I went outside to thank him for his generosity. He was gone but left a one dollar bill with his name and phone number written across it on my windshield. I never called.

We met again several months later at the local nightspot. My ex and I were going through some things and I needed to feel like I still had it going on. Mac spotted me almost immediately and made his way to the area I was sitting in. He charmed the hell out of me- unintentionally. That was just his nature. It didn’t help that he was looking all suave and debonair. Lol. He wasn’t necessarily a “good looking” man, more than he was a “well put together” man. I am not big on looks at all, but something about him was appealing…to EVERYONE. He had a defined swagger and confidence even though deep down inside he was simple the lil country boy from the backwoods of Mississippi. He and I spent the rest of the night talking, laughing, and enjoying each other.

Fast forward 4 yrs. Nothing really ever kicked off between Mac and I. We were both dealing with relationship drama, and never could quite get on the same page. He supported me through one of the toughest times in my life. I mean, REALLY supported me…he offered me more support than my best girlfriends. I will NEVER forget how much of a MAN he proved to be during that time. When I realized that the relationship between my ex and I really wasn’t going anywhere, I started to think about the possibility of getting with Mac, I mean REALLY getting with him. In the 4yrs we had known each other, we had barely held hands, never kissed and sexing wasn’t even in the vocabulary. We spent many nights in bed together, cuddling, spooning, talking- hell, he’d even seen me naked (that’s a whole nother story) and we never crossed the line. I started to wonder if God was showing me the man I should be with but I wasn’t paying attention to the signs. Mac invited me on a vacation with him and his friends and there we had an opportunity to sit down and talk about “us”. He told me that he wanted nothing more than to try to see if we could be in a relationship, but the distance scared him. I lived on one coast, he lived on another….we were in two separate time zones. So, we decided to just “go with the flow.”

Recently he suffered a personal setback in his life and career. He started re-evaluating his life. He had more time to spare and he and I were getting close again. Genuine interest and effort was being put forth on both of our ends even though it was tough with the distance. I was determined to be there for him like he was there for me when I needed a friend. I wanted to show him how much I appreciated his loyalty. But I noticed, slowly but surely, he began to withdraw…clam up…detach himself. It started off initially with him taking a few days to return phone calls, and then I noticed how he was rarely ever available. On two occasions, he had flat out stood me up for dates and he knew my time in the city was limited. I was pissed, so I backed off. From that point on the communication was induced by him. I didn’t reach out to him, he reached out to me. The conversations were never strained, but I could tell that something was going on in his life. I knew that his job security was still troubling him, so I tried to be cognizant of that and not demanding of his attention and time.

He invited me to a “party” at his house during Thanksgiving. He knew that I would be in town and wanted me to stop by and see his new place. I ended up staying the entire weekend there. I got reacquainted with his mother and sister and nephews…we had a great time. During the weekend, he was involved in an accident and was physically impaired. I was there for him the night of the accident and the next day. However, I had to leave to return to my current home base. He seemed disappointed, but was very understanding. I tried to call him every day after that but my calls were unanswered. Messages unreturned.

Well, I got a call from him yesterday. Shocked me to death! He spoke as if nothing ever happened. He said he heard I was in town for a brief visit and that he wanted to sit down and “catch up.” He asked if I still loved to eat sushi and he would meet me at my favorite sushi place in about an hr. I agreed and went.

I don’t remember much of the conversation, but I do remember that somewhere between me ordering edamame and the waitress bringing him sake bombs, he broke the news. He was having surgery in a week on the injury he sustained in the accident in November, and his fiancé would be accompanying him to the city he would be doing his rehabilitation in. WTF? I blanked out. He was saying some other stuff that sounded like “whah whah whah” to me. But somewhere in all of that he mentioned that his fiancé was on her way to the restaurant to meet us for lunch. He wanted us to meet each other, especially since he talks about me so much.

Holy MOSES! I couldn’t believe I was sitting there hearing this. I pinched myself because this could NOT be real. Dude, did you just tell me that you invited your FIANCE to meet us for lunch??? I didn’t have time to catch my breath before she was standing in my presence. I wanted to hate her; I really did but I couldn’t. She wasn’t a beauty, but she was cute….very homely, but sweet….had a country twang and was gracious to meet my acquaintance. WOW. She had heard so much about me and was so glad to finally meet the friend Mac talked about so much. She thanked me for being his best friend and asked for my address so that she could send me an invitation to the wedding ceremony in the spring. WTF?? She gave me the password to the website, told me the colors of her bridesmaids’ dresses, and even asked if I would want to come to the bridal luncheon. HA!

I tried to process it all and then I glanced over and saw him holding her hand under the table. He hadn’t said a word since she sat down. I hadn’t even touched the edamame and the waitress came to the table a good (3) times before to get my order but I kept sending her away. I got up to go to the restroom because I was about to explode and I refused to let them see me sweat. Could she not see the glassiness in my eyes? Did she not feel the stiffness in his body language?
He sent me a text message a few hours ago and said “nothing like some news…huh.” I ignored it.

Ya see, I am not upset that he is getting married (disappointed maybe); I am not upset that he found a woman that truly adores him. He deserves that. It is something that I may have never been able to give him. He knew VERY well that he and I would never have really been able to pull things off because of all of the situations in the past. However, I was and still am upset.

I am really upset because it pulled me back to that space with Mr. 36. The space that I have not quite gotten out of yet. After all, it was just a few days ago that Mr. 36 called me and declared his love for me with his married ass. That wound is still fresh, and now this.

I did not appreciate how Mac broke the news to me, mainly the fact that he invited his fiancé to lunch. Gosh dude, at least give me time to digest the fact that you are getting married on me. And for him to make me seem like I was his BEST girl friend was the worst! But, I do respect him for respecting me enough to let me know ahead of time before I found it out from someone else in a not so positive way. And TRUST me, I would have found out. I’m surprised I didn’t find out sooner actually.

That doesn’t let Mac completely off the hook though. He has been misleading- not just to me, but to her especially. This relationship can’t be new…at the least they were involved in November. And what must his family think of me?! After all I just recently spent the entire weekend with them. They don’t know that he and I are not and have never been sexually involved. I’m sure that they were just assuming we were. I’m sure they assume that I also knew that he was getting married. What kind of woman does that make me appear to be? Ugggghhh! Not again!

XoXo,
CC

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Compliments or Insults?

I recently became reacquainted with a guy I’ve known since my college days. Our communication began initially via email, but soon progressed to sporadic phone calls and text messages. In the midst of one of our text conversations, he showered me with compliments and even stated that he didn’t know how he could have “slept on me for so long.” I jokingly agreed with him and said that obviously he didn’t realize the truth (about me) until recently, but it was better late than never. He concurred. That is where he should have stopped, but instead he kept going. He went on to say that he noticed me back in the day, but I wasn’t that hot then. He even went so far as to say that I am now beyond hot- I’m on fire.Those were his exact words. I sat there and looked at the message like “WOW” this guy has some guts. I tried to shake off my initial feeling of negativity that exuded from the text and simply replied back “Actually, I believe I was much hotter when I was younger, however I am more confident and sure of my hotness in my older age.” He responded “No. Trust me, you weren’t that hot. But now you definitely are and I think you know it.”


I had to pick up the phone and call him on that note. He answered ecstatically as if he was so excited to hear my voice. I shut him down real quick. “So, do you think what you just text me was a compliment?” I asked. “Of course,” he replied. “Well it wasn’t,” I retorted. “I am sure you had the best intentions when you made that statement. I would even go so far as to say that you just don't know any better. However, what you said to me was by far more of an insult than a compliment. You should NEVER tell any woman that you are just becoming acquainted with, that you believe she wasn’t hot at some point in her life. That statement is down right tacky and inappropriate. Anywho, I gotta go. Just wanted to make sure you heard what I had to say.” CLICK.

I know I might have been out of line to snap on ole boy, but I am so sick of guys who think they are saying smooth things, but are actually being incredible jerks. It is evident that he has probably used that line a time or two on some gullible female that was impressed to receive a compliment from a decent looking man. Well, I’m not that chick. It was more than necessary for me to put him in his place. I am confident that it worked. Since then he has texted me and called me to apologize and was emphatic about the fact that he didn’t mean his statement negatively. I am more than sure he will think twice next time he forms his lips to give the HOT chick a compliment.

One of my girlfriends just experienced the same kind of tactless truth. She was out at a party in Hollywood- the stomping ground of anorexics and bulimics. She was approached by a guy whose pick up line was “I like full-figured chicks.” He was DEAD SERIOUS. No smirk, no sign of sarcasm, no remorse. He really meant that as a compliment. Now don’t get me wrong, my friend knows she could never be equated as a skinny chick. She is curvy in all of the right places, but by no means the definition of a full-figured chick. And even if she were, that is something that you just don’t say to a woman that you just met. Who are these guys getting their women advice from? Their consultants need to be fired! Pronto!

Let this be a lesson to all of the men out there. Stick with the simple cliché compliments: you’re so beautiful; you’re gorgeous; I like your style; you have pretty teeth; your breath smells fresh…. Don’t try to be creative, because nine times out of ten you will end up with a foot in your mouth, and it just might be mine.

XoXo,
C.C.

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Always Follow Your FIRST MIND!

Ever since I've become abstinent, I have been very careful about agreeing to dates that involve going to some one's house or allowing someone to come to mine. It just cuts down on unnecessary awkwardness, and it doesn't allow the opportunity for the moment to creep up on me. Yes folks, as you can tell, I don't trust myself alone with a man I'm attracted to. That can lead to the unknown, and I'd hate to be the tease. We've ALL been the tease before. U know the girl I'm talking about...the one who makes out with a dude, does all of the dry hunchin' and rollin' with him...even takes off her bottoms, and then says- "No, We Can't Do This," only to have him ask to just stick the tip in- whatever that means. We are grown @ss adults, we BOTH know that more than just the tip will be used....but I digress.


So, this dude (I won't dare to give him the honor of Bachelor-status) invited me out on a date. Let's call him Trey. I've been knowing Trey for about 8 months. we met through a mutual friend. Our initial outings have always consisted of group activities with our mutual friend and others. I wouldn't really call them dates. I could tell he was interested in me, and vice versa, so he finally got up the gull to ask me out.

The initial plan was for us to go to Dave & Buster's to watch the game on Monday night and play some arcade games. He swears he is a Pac-Man Pro. Whatever. He was supposed to call me at 6pm to set up a definite time for us to meet at the location. He called as scheduled, but he wanted to change the plans....see....he had to work the next morning, and he had to get up really early to go to work, so he wanted to know if I would come over to his house instead. He suggested that he would cook or order Chinese take-out and we could watch a movie. Hmmmmmm. Ya know ya girl was NOT feeling that at all!

My first mind told me HELL to the NO. But I didn't verbalize it, and instead I told him that I would call him back in a few minutes. My thing is this, he always knew that we were going to hook up on a school night; he always knew that he had to go to work early the next morning; he always knew that he had NO intentions on going to Dave & Buster's, so why suddenly spring this on me at the 23rd hour, 59th second?

Well, in true C'est Chic fashion, I ended up ignoring my FIRST MIND and went on ahead to his house. I got there around 7pm and planned to only stay for a couple of hours. I expected to walk in and smell the aroma of a home-cooked meal. SIKE! Nothing on the stove at the Apartments on the Park. :( I asked Trey what was up with dinner. He said that he was waiting for me to see what I wanted to eat from the Chinese joint. Sidenote-I don't do Chinese joints. If it isn't Pei Wei or P.F. Changs, then I am NOT gonna eat it. The only joint I will eat Chinese food from was NOT in this city. I didn't want to sound like a Prima Donna, so I just followed his lead and ordered the Happy Family (how can u go wrong with seafood). When the food came, it was the worsT! Yes worsT. The rice had peas and carrots in it, it was still white, and not tasty. I couldn't find the seafood due to all of the shrubbery. I looked up at Trey and he was eating that junk like it was the Last Supper!

Fast forward to the end of the meal. Trey took my half eaten meal and put it in his fridge. I followed him into the living room and plopped on the sofa in front of the plasma TV. I started surfing through the DVDs that were on the table in front of me. Trey cut off the light in the living room where I was and nodded his head toward the bedroom. UH UH! Why do we have to go to the bedroom? There is a perfectly fine television sitting right here...an expensive one at that. Why in the sam hayle do we have to go to the bedroom to watch a movie????

So do you all know what I did? Yep, I went into the bedroom, sat on the floor and waited for him to put on the movie. He took his time strolling around putting imaginary items in their places. I was giggling on the inside because I knew that he was trying to burn some time. After five minutes of nothingness, I took it upon myself to put the movie in the DVD player and started watching it. The movie was Alpha Dog. I've seen it before, but I wasn't gonna make a big stink. It was OK enough for me to watch it again. Trey didn't join me on the floor in front of the TV, instead he opted for the bed. I guess he thought I would hop up there with him, but he was sooooooo wrong. I sat my happy @ss right there on that floor in that big bean bag he doesn't use. He didn't have the courage to ask me to join him in the bed for whatever reason. Maybe he could feel the vibe I was giving- the vibe that said "I wish you would...." Eventually, he got off of the bed and joined me on the floor where he laid his head in my lap. Half way through the movie I began to hear some noises and they weren't coming from the TV. This fool had fallen asleep! The date had become POINTLESS! (As if it wasn't already). Oh uh uh!

I could not believe my ears. He was snoring so loud it was ridiculous. After the snoring had become so loud that I could no longer hear the TV, I started tapping him on his head to let him know that I was about to leave. This fool acted like he was in a coma. He did not reply. He didn't flinch even when I started lightly smacking him upside his head. Who sleeps that hard??? Really??? Who does that???

I hopped my happy @ss up from off of the bean bag letting his head plop into it. He mumbled something, and I said in a loud voice directly in his ear "Say bruh- I'm out!" He mumbled something else. I said it again and followed it up with "Come and walk me to the door." No reply. He didn't budge. I nudged him with my foot- no movement. By this time, I was a little annoyed and oh so ready to go. So I said it one more time "I'm leaving Trey!" Nothing. So I picked up my purse, put on my shoes, and left out of the house. I had to leave the door unlocked. It was a little after midnight by this time, and I was walking full force through the parking lot to my car. I got inside, locked the doors, and slapped the steering wheel.

This fool couldn't even get up for a second to lock his frickin' door! WTF?! Really homey, were you THAT tired? I haste to believe it. He was such a frickin' gentleman. The next day (or technically later that same day) around 5am I received a text to my phone....YES....a TEXT....not a CALL. The text said "Hey Lady, You made it home safely?" I never responded. Not even to this day. For all he knows I'm in the revene outside of his crib. Why does he care? Sleep was more important to him at the moment, my safety was no where on his personal radar. A-hole.

Moral of this story: Always follow your FIRST mind! A woman's intuition is the best thing God could have bestowed upon us. I will be the first to admit that God has given me a great spirit of discernment, and at times I allow my stupidity to override it. I am learning to hone in on those gut feelings and follow my first mind. Had I done so in this case, I wouldn't have been in the position to have to fake like I enjoyed some SARS infested Chinese food, nor would I have had to deal with him drooling on my brand new Joe's Jeans. Dry cleaning is expensive! Next time, no Dave & Buster's no DATE. Punk.

XoXo,
C.C.

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