Workplace Fling!

For as long as I can remember (even before I held my own), I've known of the supposed taboos of dating co-workers. When I was younger, I remember watching shows or hearing family members discuss how office trysts always seemed to end in a mess for everyone involved...and even those who were not. So, when I joined the workforce, I promised myself that I would do my best to never cross that line. Well...that was until...Devon came along!

Generally, dating co-workers or even being tempted to date co-workers never really posed a problem. You see...I work in the fashion industry, which means there are lots of women and lots of gay men. Encountering a straight, overtly masculine man where I work is a rarity. So much so that when one does come along, he's generally swooped up by some lady in waiting! On top of my work environment consisting predominately of women and gay men, it's also very "race neutral" (for lack of a better phrase). By "race neutral," I mean that there isn't a lot of diversity where I work and meeting the "type" of men I like at work is likely to never happen. So..with all these "obstacles"... a girl should feel safe, right?

Wrong!

Imagine my surprise when I'm sitting at my desk, furiously focusing my attention on a very hot project. when I notice Devon standing in the hall talking to a co-worker. Just the sight of this straight and VERY sexy man wouldn't allow me to pull my eyes away! I'm embarrased to admit this but it's been a LONG time since I've seen such a fine specimen as that! Let alone one in my workspace! It took a second but once I caught myself starring, I turned my eyes to my computer screen and realized that I was not looking my fiercest today! I'd had a restless night's sleep and just threw myself together that morning. I immediately grabbed my make-up bag and ran from my desk (in the opposite direction) to the ladies room to make myself somewhat presentable. When I came out and was walking to my desk, I find Devon and another co-worker making rounds near my desk. My co-worker was introducing Devon to the team. As they approached my desk, my palms got sweaty and I tried my damndest to pretend not to even notice him there. When they finally made it to my desk, I was poised and ready to present myself in a professional but sexy way!! As they walked up, I crossed my legs and swung my chair around. And this could be expressed as the beginning of the end!

The minute we laid eyes on each other, it was obvious that there was a strong physical attraction radiating from both sides. We shook hands for what felt like 5 minutes and as Devon walked away, I noticed him turning back to check me out!! I felt like a 15 year old all over again. My heart was racing and I jumped on the phone to call C'est Chic as soon as I could. And of course she warned me of all the issues with dating a co-worker but encouraged me at the same time. In that moment, I decided that I wouldn't persue the situation but would let things run their course. And run...they did. On my way out the door, I ran into Devon in the stairwell. He stopped me and mentioned how excited he was to be working with me. He went on to ask me to lunch to talk about our company. He wanted to talk with someone about how he could succeed in his new job. So, being the polite and friendly person I am, I agreed to lunch the next day.

Lunch turned into dinners and before long, Devon and I were hot and heavy. We were spending nights together and even went on a weekend excursion together. Everything was going fine until we actually had to work on a project together. As the project manager, I was responsible for the ultimate success or failure of our project and it was my responsibility to lead our team. Needless to say, that didn't go over well with Devon. This confidant, charming, sexy man that I once knew was out the door!! Within days of starting the project, Devon turned into a difficult and bratty team member. Once I had to give him feedback on a piece he put together and he was not having it. He became very ugly with me and even went so far as saying that I was only giving him this feedback because of an argument we had a few nights earlier. Working with Devon was hell!! So much so that any time we spent outside of work was strained and unenjoyable. By the end of the project, I didn't even see Devon with the same eyes. He'd turned from this beautiful man into a monster! So with the end of our project came the end of our relationship and friendship. I moved on from my job shortly after for a better position at a competitor. With the move I took many professional learnings...but the most valuable was definitely...don't date co-workers!

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Dating Chronicles: Baller on a Budget aka BOB

I wrote a post yesterday about the guy I call Baller on a Budget or BOB. By popular demand, I have decided to chronicle one of our dates.

For the purposes of this story we will call one of the major players in this story, one of my good girl-friends, Kelsey. Kelsey and I had just finished complaining about our 1st of the month blues...every bill under the sun was due at the 1st of the month for she and I. With that being said, in order for us to remain fiscally responsible, self-funded recreational activities had to be scaled down a bit until mid-month. Later that same evening I received a phone call from BOB inviting Kelsey and I to a popular adult entertainment spot in the city. I accepted, after all, BOB and I hadn't hung out in a while and I missed him. I was to be leaving town soon for work and wouldn't return to the city for at least a month. BOB had a friend visiting and he wanted to show him a good time. So we set up a time to meet up later that evening.

I joked with Kelsey about how we should probably eat and drink at my house so that we would avoid having to spend money. I know how BOB rolls, and being that he is a Baller on a Budget, I wasn't convinced that the entire date would be funded by he and his comrade. So that's exactly what we did. I cooked dinner, made my special cocktail and we set out to meet up at the spot with BOB and his friend.

The night started off at the bar, where, surprisingly BOB picked up the tab. "Cool," I though to myself. Then he left the bartender a tip...$2.00; which was less than 10% of the total bill. WTF? In an effort to not emasculate him, I went in my purse and put up 3 additional dollars (the last of my cash) when he turned away from the bar. Kelsey was watching the entire time.

The night progressed and BOB's friend picked up the 2nd round of drinks. We were all having a good time. There were no sparks between Kelsey and the friend, but they got along pretty well. We made our rounds throughout the entertainment spot and decided to go to another section. Upon entering said section, I offered to pay for a round of drinks, and of course that offer wasn't declined. As we walked to the bar Kelsey told me that I was out of line. I figured it was the least I could do. Me, being the Captain Save-A-Hoe that I am, thought that it was only appropriate to do so since no one else was making an effort, and we all needed drinks! So to the bar we went, and to the bartender I paid. It wasn't THAT expensive, but I did indeed buy a round of drinks. Kelsey, well, she made no effort to go into her purse.

At some point BOB made a mention of ordering shots. When I noticed that there was talk about exiting the place, I asked BOB "What happened to the shots?" He looked me dead in my face and said "no more money left." Ok! How about that for honesty?! LOL. We ended the night soon after and we departed in the parking lot and went our separate ways.

As I was driving home that night I thought about something. The entire week I hadn't seen BOB, but I had eaten out and gone to several happy hours and spent not one dime. Every time I went out, I went out with a man who had no problem picking up the tab and would have cringed at the thought of me putting up $1 toward the meal or buying one round of drinks. So why was I now in a situation where I not only bought a round of drinks for BOB and his friend, but, I was also in the very awkward position of not being able to make the most of the night because I was worried about how much I would cost him. Though I enjoy his company, it's beginning to be a burden.

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Dating Chronicles: Mr. Big Shot

I couldn't make up these stories if I tried! I have a vivid imagination, but not this vivid. Sit back and relax and take a glimpse into my life in the Dating Lane.

This weekend was very eventful- to say the least. I have been attending a Cycling Class at my gym for a little over a month now. The class is held twice a week, and has a faithful following.

I am the "newbie" in the class, and a couple of weeks ago, while setting up my bike, one of the veteran members came over to make small talk with me. He told me his name was *G* and welcomed me to the class. "Pretty nice guy," I thought to myself. I worked out hard in the class that day...I was soooo proud of myself. At the end, I began limping my way over to the women's locker room. Boy, that seat is something else. It never ceases to violate me EVERY class.

*G* follows me out, and I didn't realize until I was halfway down the stairs that he was behind me. At the bottom of the staircase, he stopped me and handed me his business card. He said he wanted to meet me for lunch one day during the week and asked my availability. Cool. I give him my info, so that we could coordinate schedules.

Generally, guys that try to hit on me in the gym are not given the time of day. I loathe having some man salivate over my ass while I'm doing lunges. It seems so desperate to me when men approach women while they're trying to get their work-out on. But for some reason, I felt like I didn't have anything to loose, and *G* seemed nice enough, and it helped that he was fine ass hell.

So, later that day, I received an email from *G* asking me to meet him at this quaint little Cuban eatery north of my home. I oblige and am there promptly at the designated time.

The date started off pretty cool. We had decent conversation, he was very polite, and well-mannered. By all accounts this was a pretty good date. Then the check came. He reviewed the bill and proceeded to reach into his pocket to pay. Good right? Wrong.
Why did this dude pay the entire 68.00 bill and 20.00 tip in ONE DOLLAR BILLS??!!??!!

Something was definitely wrong with that picture! When he noticed me looking at him with the *side eye*, he attempted to explain. The bottom line was- he was headed to the strip club after our date. Well, at least he was honest. *Insert long SIIIIGGHHH*

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Dating Chronicles: The Third Wheel

I met Mr. W at the W Hotel's infamous Ghost Bar in Dallas, TX. Little ole me, made feeble attempts to get the bartender's attention; Mr W observed this and offered to speak on my behalf. Once he flagged down the bartender, I was finally able to order my drink, and once the bill came, Mr. W put it on his tab. We began conversing while I waited for my drink, and though he didn't physically appear to be the type of guy I was attracted to, he had great conversation. About an hour into our conversation, he invited me to lunch. I was only in town for a few days, so we agreed that lunch the next day would work for both of us.

The next day our lunch date was set for 2pm. I was staying at a downtown hotel and the restaurant was on the other side of town, so Mr W offered to be my chauffeur. Though I generally make it a point to drive my own vehicle on the 1st few dates, I obliged given the circumstances. As I stood outside waiting for him to arrive I couldn't help but notice the car that pulled up to the front of the hotel. With its music BLARING and 22" rims, a candy-painted Chrysler 300 stopped a few feet beyond where I was standing. The limo tinted windows obstructed my view inside of the vehicle, so I was unable to see inside. I shook my head at the stereotypical image in front of me. A few seconds later, my phone rang. It was Mr W. He was in the car with the loud music. Strike 1.

As I approached the passenger side of the car, the door flung open and out came a 6 foot something guy with a white t-shirt and some Air Force Ones. It wasn't Mr W. It was one of his friends. I recognized him from the other night at the Ghost Bar. He introduced himself as "Tim". I spoke cordially, he gave me a head nod and then hopped in the back seat. Strike 2.

The entire ride to the restaurant the music was at 100 when I need it to be at 20. There was no conversation- I mean, how could there be? Several times I thought about asking him to tone it down a bit, but I just couldn't get up the nerve.

We arrived at the restaurant- Olive Garden, where we were seated in a booth. I slid in on one side and he slid in on the opposite, with "Tim" occupying the seat to his right. Strike 3.

The entire 63 minutes we were at lunch, I barely said a word. Aside from placing my order with the waiter and a few other occasional comments here and there, I kept my mouth shut and just observed. The two buddies entertained each other while I sat fiddling with the sub-par Italian cuisine that sat before me. I was unimpressed with the whole outing. I could not wait to get back to my hotel room!

We proceeded to get back into the pimped out car with the music booming through the sub-woofers (or whatever you call those loud azz speakers). As we approached the hotel, he turned down the volume and told me that he had a great time and would call me later that evening. He even suggested hanging out later that night. NOT!

About 20 minutes after dropping me off, MR W sent me a text message saying: "You are so damn sexy it took everything in me not to hem you up!" Strike 4. First off, I hate when men refer to me as sexy and they don't even know me. It is so lustful. Secondly, my attire for the day was very modest and did not include any scantily clad or "sexy" clothing.

So my thoughts are this: "Ok, so maybe I have natural sex appeal- I don't doubt that. But please refrain from calling me Sexy! And dude, last time I checked, you were more engaged with your homeboy that tagged along with us, than you were with me! NOT.HOT."

I guess that's one of the reasons why he is 36 and single. Needless to say, I have not spoken to Mr W since. That was our first and last date.

CALGON TAKE ME AWAY!

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Reunited...but does it feel so good?

Last weekend I received a text message from a number that was not stored in my phone. The message simply read "How are you doing?" I was on a date, so I didn't really have time to reply to the anonymous texter. Later that night, I looked at the message again and tried to place a name with the number. I was unsuccessful. I hate when people call back a number they don't know and say "Did somebody just call me??" That is so rude and unnecessary to me, but I decided to do the text equivalent of that- I sent a reply message and it read: "Hey. Who's this?" The sender never responded.

A week later, the sender re-sent another message, this time it read "Hello lady- it's (insert sender's name). Just checking on u. How are u?" It then hit me that the sender was the former Bachelor #1. I haven't spoken to him since our text breakup in December. Actually, we communicated in January about him sending the items I left at his house...needless to say, I have YET to receive them- but I digress. It was a surprise to hear from him. After all, I had given him another month before I was sure that he would contact me. They all do. No man ever stays gone for too long- they all come back with their tail between their legs begging for forgiveness. I knew that he would resurface, but I thought that it wouldn't be until April or later- so the timing shocked me.

I responded "I'm good, thanks for asking." That lead to a few additional prodding texts (he was trying to test the temperature of the water before he dove in). I kept it short and sweet with one word responses and simple phrases. Finally he got to the point of his text communication "I would like to see you- if that's possible," was the text he sent. I replied "in reference to???" I was playing stupid. Of course I knew why he wanted to see me...why wouldn't he? lol. Seriously though, I am sure that he realized lonnnnng time ago that he was sooooo wrong for the way he ended things between us. I was initially opposed to seeing him. Hell, I didn't have anything to say to him and really didn't care to hear what he had to say to me. But after some careful thought and consideration, I decided to go ahead and bless him with my presence. Coincidentally, he wanted to meet up at a place that I was already en route to, so I agreed to the reunion.

He arrived before I did, and as I walked up and saw him sitting in the booth, my heart actually fluttered a bit; afterall, I had begun to develop feelings for him during the time we dated. He spotted me as I approached the booth he was sitting in and he stood up to greet me. When he hugged me, it immediately brought back the way I felt the very first time our bodies touched- in this same place. His arms wrapped around me tightly, with my head resting in his chest. I felt safe there, his hugs felt like they could protect me from the dangers of the world. He gave the best hugs, I missed that about him. I didn't want him to let me go, and it felt like he didn't want to let me go- but he did. I sat at the table directly across from him and gave him a quick once-over. He looked the same...same beautiful white teeth, flawless dark skin. Same lame old Lacoste shirt that I've seen him wear a time to many. No extra facial hair, no extra poundage. Not much had changed since the last time I saw him...not even the feeling I had in the pit of my stomach. I didn't really know how I was supposed to act. Part of me wanted to be cold and distant, but another part of me wanted to just be me-C'est Chic. The first few minutes were a tad bit awkward, two dirty martinis later, everything was a-ok.

We had what I consider surface conversation for about 30 minutes. A lot of "catching up" questions and answers. It almost felt as if we were getting to know each other all over again. He informed me of his current job status, his goals for the next month or two, and his son's progress is school. We spoke briefly about some things that were going on in his life the last time we talked and he updated me on the progress of his business ventures. I spoke about what was going on in my world and we even shared a few laughs. Then I asked the question I had wanted to ask since I entered the room "Where's my shit- punk??" He laughed. He told me that he wished that he could say that the things he were supposed to mail to me two months ago were in the trunk of his car, but that wasn't the case. He apologized for dropping the ball on that responsibility and told me he had realized that I had given up in my quest to retrieve them. I told him that I refused to continue to sweat him behind some jeans and shoes, and that I knew he knew he had a responsibility to send me my things but he just hadn't cared enough to do so. That then led to the discussion about how things ended between us.

I told him that I wouldn't have been able to leave our "reunion" without expressing to him how I felt in the wake of things. I told him that some of the things he said about me really hurt my feelings and I felt that he could have been a little more tactful in his delivery as well as a little more mindful about his timing (hell it was the day before Christmas!). I expressed to him that I hated the fact that he chose the medium of texting to break things off instead of calling or meeting up with me face to face. He acknowledged his part in the demise of our "friendship" (or whatever you wanna call it) and admitted that it was just a little too much too soon for him. Then he began to speak some profound words. He began to say that he didn't know how to handle what seemed to be developing between the two of us. He does not have good examples of relationships in his life, so he was ignorant to the way a relationship was supposed to be. All he knew was- here was this girl with beautiful eyes an incredible smile and a loving nature, that practically swept him off his feet. He loved the way he felt when he was around me- but he didn't like the feeling at the same time. As a single parent, he told me his main focus has always been the care and betterment of his child, but with me in the picture, it had become the care and betterment of me also. He didn't know how to juggle the two. Often times I would make him feel like he wanted to stay in the bed with me all day, or spend every free hour with me and around me. He knew that was next to impossible because he is the sole care giver and provider for his child. It was a new feeling to him, one he wasn't comfortable with, and the best thing he could do at the time was shut me out. He felt like he was doing me a favor by pulling away. He didn't want to revert to the "Just dating" status because that would have been equivalent to a demotion in our relationship. So he preferred to take the All or Nothing approach and keep the Nothing end of it.

In those moments when he was looking into my eyes and speaking those words, I felt a warmth in my heart. So many times I beat myself up for not being enough or not doing enough, but in those minutes, I knew it had NOTHING to do with what I did or didn't do. Even though he initially tried to pin the demise of our friendship on my reaction to things, he admitted to me last night that those were "just excuses!" Then he said in the most utter and sincere tone "C'est Chic, How do you tell a person that it's actually YOU that's F'ed up??? How can you admit to not only yourself, but someone else you care about, that YOU are the problem- not them, without making it sound cliche?" I shrugged. As he held my face in his hands and gently rubbed my cheeks, he said "I sincerely mean it when I say that any man that gets you is one lucky dude. I don't deserve you."

That saddened me. Even though I know that I harbor some non-favorable qualities, I also know that I obtain twice as many Favorable ones. I constantly believe that I am a work in progress and that the short comings I have today won't last forever. I work on them daily and work vigorously towards my pursuit of betterment. I not only know I am worth great things, I EXPECT great things. When I expressed that to him, his reply was "that's the difference between the two of us- I don't expect nothing."

It was also in that moment that I realized that even though Bachelor #1 really is a great guy, he's not the great guy for me. The great guy for me is not only confident that he deserves better, but he EXPECTS only the best. His expectations are so high,, because he believes he's worth it! He won't be afraid of the feeling he gets when we are together, because that feeling is the feeling he's been missing and desiring and likewise.

I am grateful to God for small favors. He no longer allows me to get too involved with men that don't fulfill my requirements. Because of this, I am confident that what I expect isn't far-fetched. My expectations aren't overzealous or unreasonable. They are simple necessities. That evening, I returned home confident in the decisions that I made regarding Bachelor #1....I left confident that it wasn't ME nor was it anything I did or didn't do that pushed him away; I left confidently knowing that though we crossed each others paths for a brief moment, it wasn't meant to be anything more than a learning lesson. And I call it a Lesson Learned!

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Family Ties

Is there such a thing as a man being too close to his family? This is the question I’m pondering this week, after going out with a new guy I recently met. Seems like an odd question but I do think that everything has its limitations and sometimes people go overboard.

I met H.P. last weekend at a local lounge. Though I wasn’t initially attracted to him, he seemed like a very nice and personable guy. And since I’m trying to step outside of my comfort zone, I decided to give him my phone number. When he called later in the week, I really found myself enjoying our conversation. I was pleasantly surprised to find that there was an ease to our conversation. Nothing about it was awkward at all. In fact, it was just like talking to anyone of my guy friends. However, there were some odd things that came up in conversation. H.P. expressed that he was from a very large and tight-knit family. As any girl, I would guess, I was happy to hear this. I’m also from a very large and tight-knit family, so I was happy to hear we had something (so important to me) in common. H.P. then goes on to tell me the name of the small city he’d grown up in and revealed that he’d just moved away from that city for the first time. Though he’d gone to college in a city close by, he always commuted to school and work, never leaving his hometown and family. He went on to say that, for the first time, he was living away from his family in another nearby city and was actually experiencing some withdrawal. Though he’d lived on his own before, H.P. had never actually lived more than 10 miles away from his parents and siblings. For him, living 30min away from his family was a big deal. Hearing this from H.P. definitely took me off guard. As a young woman who has lived away from my hometown (far away) for many years, I was a bit put off by the idea that this guy, whom is 32 by the way, was having such a hard time only living 30min from his family. But, like I’d said, with such good conversation I wanted to stay open and felt positive and excited about going out on a date with H.P.
As H.P. and I were deciding when and where we would meet, I suggested lunch on Saturday. Immediately, I got what seemed to be a panicked text saying that Saturday wasn’t ideal because he usually runs errands and drives out to his hometown to visit with his family. I practically fell out of my chair reading the text. Was he serious?? Was he seriously saying to me, after offering to accommodate my schedule, that he couldn’t spare 2 hours of his time on Saturday to have lunch??? Wow! I was blown away. I appreciate that the man is close to his family. Really…I do. But somehow I’m having a difficult time with the separation anxiety he seems to feel living only 30min away from them. Call me crazy but doesn’t this seem like a warning sign? As we’ve all been taught, how a man treats his mother is something every woman should pay attention to. It is usually very telling as to how he will treat his significant other. And like any woman, I would love a man who is caring, thoughtful and family-oriented. But isn’t there a limit? No one really wants a man so close to his family that he can’t truly commit to you, right? When you’re in a relationship, you want to feel like you’re in it with your partner, not him AND their family. And don’t even talk about if you get married! Then you’re married to the mother and not the man. Plus, it often goes that there are some maturity issues when a man can’t detach at least a little. H.P. even said that for the first time, he’s starting to realize he’s not the center of the world! OK! Now, in his defense, he is the youngest of 6, so it’s understandable that he’s been babied and coddled most of his life but you’re 32 - MAN! At some point, you have to Man Up! I’m a part of a big family, as well, but I’ve known for quite some time that the universe does not revolve around me.

I don’t know about you but I’m very leery of a man who seems to by very interested in meeting you but can’t because he can’t take two hours out of his Saturday to do so. You tell me ladies, is there such a thing as too close to the family and could you date a Mama’s Boy?

XoXo,
Charmed

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Baby Boy...

“…You stay on my mind fulfill my fantasies...”

Here’s the deal. My girlfriends and I were out at a popular eatery having dinner, and in walked a group of young guys. They occupied the table adjacent to ours and from the moment they sat down we could tell that they were significantly younger than us. It wasn’t overly evident, after all, they actually wore belts and weren’t adorned with excessive jewelry, but they had young faces and eager eyes. One of the guys in the group stood out amongst the rest…he was friendly, vivacious even and very handsome.

The eatery was a very casual place, and the service wasn’t that great since it was overly crowded. The young handsome man (that I will call Baby Boy) asked in a fun loving way if they could merge their table with ours, and we obliged. From that moment on, Baby Boy was on my tip! We posed for a couple of photos together and laughed and joked. He began asking all of the right “getting to know you” questions…then came the question of age…that’s when he confirmed my suspicions….he was more than 5 yrs my junior….and I’m still in my twenties! That makes a difference. I never revealed to him my exact age, but he was quick to let me know that he was not concerned with the fact that I was older than him by some years.

We exchanged numbers and email addresses once the night ended. He brought up the idea that we should get together the next day. The next day came and our schedules kind of conflicted. I ended up being out and about with Charmed when he called to see if I wanted to do lunch. It just so happened that Charmed and I were already in the process of searching for a place to get our grub on. We told him the spot, and he said he’d meet us there.

Baby Boy entered the restaurant with his signature smile and eager eyes. We had a decent convo which ended up turning to his profession. I assumed that he was a college student or a recent graduate given his age and the fact that we met him at an eatery which wasn’t too far from the colleges in the city we were in. My assumptions were completely wrong and I was shocked when he told me that he was a professional baseball player. We conversed a little more about his career and some other general things and then the bill came. Baby Boy never made any attempt to pick up the little black billfold. As a matter of fact, he didn’t even look in its direction.

Didn’t he just tell me he was a professional baseball player??? Even beyond the fact that this bill should be drops in a bucket to him given his salary, he is a man- isnt't he??? At a table with two women- right? Heeeerrrreee we go again…

Charmed looked at the check and then passed it to me for my review, we put up our respective amounts, and Baby Boy STILL didn’t pick up the check! Did he think that we were gonna pay his portion too? So I slid the billfold over in his direction so he could get a clue and stop looking like he was stuck on stupid. He put up his $20.00 and we paid the bill and left. He was kind enough to walk us to our car which turned out to be not too far from where he parked himself. He opened my door and told me that he’d call me later.

I got in the car and didn’t say a word, I knew what Charmed was thinking and she knew what I was thinking, but was our thinking unjust? Should we just amount it to him being young? Certain things men are supposed to learn as they grow and begin to date. I am a firm believer that any man should pick up the check whenever he is out with women….PERIOD. However, he was enough of a gentleman to walk us to our car and even open my car door for me. Things that make ya go hmmmmm…

As I sat in the car on the way from my lunch date with Baby Boy, I began to wonder if I am really in the mood for “teaching” a boy how to be a man. There are obvious differences in our maturity levels that go beyond him not picking up the check. Do I have the patience to endure a man more than 5 years my junior? After all, men mature slower than women anyway (so they say).

Don’t call me Stella just yet…after all, we all know how the real life version of that turned out!

XoXo,

CC

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What Do the Lonely Do at Christmas Time?

“‘Tis the season to be jolly- but how can I be when I have nobody?”~The Emotions

Bachelor #1 and I have gone our separate ways…on his account. I am not exactly sure when or where things went wrong…but I respect his decision …the day before Christmas….via text message that said “Nice Meeting you- You are a wonderful person” Yep. That’s pretty much how it went. That’s worst than how Bu.rg.er broke up with Ca.rr.ie on Sex.in.the.City (via post-it note). Sometimes I really hate technology; it makes folks lazy and gives them the easy way out.


I left some things at his house, because the last time we were together things were great. There was no sign that the text message I received on Christmas Eve was even a thought in the back of his mind…but I digress….I left some things at his house and I asked if we could meet up to talk and he could bring my things to me then. I had a ton of questions, mainly about my part in this, and how I contributed to him wanting to break things off between us. Then after a couple of days of thinking, I decided that there was no need for any further conversation on the matter. It would be best if he just mailed my things. We had only been dating for a couple of months, and I might as well cut my losses now without looking back. I am not about to beg him or try to convince him to stay with me. It just isn’t that serious. There are obviously some things about me that didn’t sit well with him, one being my need for communication. I don’t like going days without speaking to the person I am involved with. The beginning of the relationship is the time when you should be in such bliss, that you can’t get enough of each other, and all you wanna do is talk to that person or see them/be with them.

I don’t generally expect for my gentleman callers to call me everyday every hour on the hour. That isn’t realistic; however, with Bachelor #1 and I, from the first day we met, we have seen each other every day (with the exception of when either of us has to go out of state). We didn’t speak over the phone for extended periods of time because we never had to, and most often we communicated via text during the day while we were both at work. Recently we ran into a little problem with the communication thing, (see this post) but I thought the problem was rectified after we talked about it. Evidently I was wrong because he cited that incident as the reason for him breaking things off with me. As I said I don’t expect anybody I am dating to call me every day, but I’ll be damned if I call you or text you and you don’t respond, that’s just plain rude. I have a problem with that. No matter how busy you are, at some point you can take the time out to type: HEY! Shit. People make time for what they feel is important.

The Holiday Season always gives me a feeling of overwhelming anxiety. There isn’t a singular reason why I am not particularly fond of the 7 day span between Christmas and the New Year…it’s a plethora of things. One of the main reasons, however, is that I have NEVER been in a relationship during the holidays. It doesn’t matter if I have a “boyfriend” or not, something always seems to happen right before Christmas/NYE and I end up spending the Holiday Season alone.

My single girlfriends and I agree that Holiday time is really hard for those of us without men and children…it is the PRIME time for everyone in your family that is married with children (especially the elder women) to get in your business and try to figure out when you are gonna get married and start having children. One of my good girlfriends made the comment the other day that the next time one of her aunts or her grandmother asks her “are you dating anybody?” she was gonna respond very non-chalantly “no but there’s a couple of dudes I’m f****g” and see if she gets asked that question again. LOL!!!

This parting of ways between Bachelor #1 and I couldn’t have come at a more inopportune time. I was actually becoming excited about our budding romance, and had planned to spend the days off this Holiday Season with him. God is always faithful to me, and all I have to do is say my little prayer to him, and he eliminates dead weight men. So-long Bachelor #1…let’s make way for the Bachelors of 2008! I have a date tonight. Check back tomorrow and see how it went!

XoXo,
CC

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Snoop Doggy Dogg (not the rapper)

I went out on a date with this guy I have been conversing with for a few months. This was our first date technically since we live in different cities. It started off bad! He picked me up from the airport 45 minutes late! I despise that trememdously. When I called to tell him that my plane landed, he swore he was stuck in airport traffic, when in actuality, he hadn't even left his house! I could hear the bathroom echo! Just ugggghhhhh!

We went to lunch and then proceeded to his office to kill some time until I could check into my hotel room. I check my email and some other things on the computer on one side of the room while he sat on the other side watching television. The next 10 minutes or so, was very silent as I was doing my thing and he was doing his. I looked over to where he was sitting a couple of times and saw what appeared to be him texting. I though nothing of it initially, until I realized that the phone that he was texting from was actually MINE!


YES! This fool had my cell phone! When I realized it I calmly asked him why was he looking in my phone? He laughed and said that he made the mistake of picking my phone up on accident thinking it was his since we have the same phone. Problem with that excuse was, the moment he picked up my phone he would have been able to tell it was his since my screen saver was a personalized one.

Did I mention that this guy and I had only been communicating via phone occassionally and that this was our FIRST time going out? Did I also mention that he was NOT my man nor anything close to it? Can I also say that we barely hugged and definately NEVER kissed each other- but he was going through my cell phone?

To confirm my suspicions I looked in my phone and saw that he was going through my sent messages folder. He had been viewing the messages that I sent out to people and had gotten as far as messages from two weeks prior! I am more than sure that he had already viewed the messages that I received from others, after all, he had about 10 minutes to do so.

I asked him why he felt compelled to go through my phone, and do you know that this fool had teh audacity to tell me that was led to those messages by GOD who REVEALED to him that I was a liar because he saw that I was communicating with other dudes. The problem is, I never DENIED communicating with other dudes, so how was I a liar????? I was confused!

He also went on and on about how he wanted to see how I talked to other dudes and if I had sent any guys nasty text messages and also wanted to see if I was lying about being abstinent. He was convinced that my whole abstinence was a farce and that I was lying about that too since he found a text from me to telling Bachelor #1 how I enjoy sleeping next to him. I had to quickly put Snoop Doggy Dogg in his place and let him know that just because I slept in the same bed with a man does NOT mean I had sex with him. He couldn't believe it or undertand it.

I felt so violated by Snoop Doggy Dogg. I mean REAL violated! He actually didn't see how he did anything wrong and kept calling it a Revelation from God. He could not understand how what he did was deceptive and totally out of line. He did however admit that he assumed that I wasn't dealing with anyone, and I really didn't lie to him because I never TOLD him that I was dealing with anyone. Who does he think I am? Some lame chick that sits home alone every night and twidles her thumbs or knits an afghan? Please. I told him that I am an ACTIVE dater and even though I am fond of one of my Gentleman Callers, I am very single and still celibate. He still contends that he did nothing wrong by looking through my phone. Beyond that, I think it is so unattractive for a male to snoop through a woman's belongings. That is geigh.

I have played the snooping game before in a previous relationship, so I am not holier than thou. I was in a exclusive relationship with the person whose belongings I snooped through, and had reason to believe that he was cheating. I didn't want to continue assuming, I needed actual proof, so I went through his emails. That doesn't justify me being deceptive and nosey AT ALL, but it does make my actions a bit more plausible. Since then, I have declared to NEVER snoop again, because in snooping I found out some very hurtful information.

Snoop Doggy Dogg has been eliminated from the Dating Lane completely. His vehicle has been impounded and will never be released to its owner! He is gone for good with no chances of ever returning to the Dating Lane.

The lesson of the day is: SEEK AND YE SHALL FIND! If you feel the need to snoop....back away from the relationship completely or simply ask God for Revelation. Nothing good ever comes out of deception. True Revelation is accomplished through prayer. God is faithful. There has NEVER been a time when I asked him to reveal something to me, that he has failed me.


XoXo,
CC

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Out of Sight...Out of Mind??!!

Bachelor #1 and I have been seeing each other consistently for a few months now. We are together almost daily in some capacity and generally don't spend time holding phone conversations since we get the opportunity to spend time in person.

In the past few weeks, our time together has been interrupted by the normal rigors of life. Each instance has caused one or the both of us to be out of state for various reasons. The trips have lasted from one day to several days apart. I didn't realize exactly how much I enjoyed his company until we weren't able to be together. I found myself missing him incredibly. So, like any normal person, I reached out to him via phone. However, my calls were not promptly returned. Initially, I let it slide...but after the 3rd instance, I became alert.


Most recently we hit a snag in our courtship. After being apart for two days without any communication, I decided to reach out to Bachelor #1 and send him a text message.....no response. The next day, I called.....he didn't answer. Later that night he sent me a text saying "Hi" I replied....he didn't. I started getting frustrated. The next day I received a very dry phone call from him. The conversation was very contrived and uncomfortable. It almost seemed as if it were one of those "courtesy calls". In case you don't know what a "courtesy call" is, let me define the meaning:

Courtesy Call: When a guy you are dating and normally communicate with on a regular basis, returns your phone call ONLY out of courtesy- NOT out of the desire to speak with you. Generally this call takes place when he is pre-occupied with other female company and feels as if too much time has passed knows that you are probably wondering what the hell is going on and why he hasn't called.


So back to the story. The call I received the next day was eerily reminiscent of a courtesy call. IT wasn't laden with the normal enthusiastic voice that I have grown to become accustomed to. I didn't feel that out-pouring of affection or comedic laden voice that he generally exhibits. Instead, he seemed cold and calculated, dry even. I asked him if anything was bothering him and he re-assured me that he was just fine, but very tired since he had house guest all weekend. Hmmmm.....

I try not to jump to conclusions; I have no grounds to jump to conclusions. Especially since, while I was away I met and exchanged numbers with a few potential gentleman callers, and even went on a date with an ex-flame. However, I still made time to contact Bachelor #1 and let him know that I as thinking of him. He didn't seem very receptive nor did he reciprocate my actions. I am growing to feel as if when I am not physically present and available to sit in his face, I am not thought of. In other words: out of sight, out of mind. I am struggling to deal with the possibility that he is suffering from a lack of object permanence. After all, he is a grown @ss man- NOT an 18-month old; and I am a grown @ss woman- not an object.

I don't want to come across as a "needy" woman, however, there are certain things that I require from a person that I am actively dating. One of those things is consideration of my feelings. Another is a reciprocation of actions. I don't believe that either one of those, within reason, are too far fetched to expect. I simply want to be re-assured that I am thought of, and even possibly missed while we are apart for an extended period...and I believe it is only common courtesy to return a person's phone call in a prompt manner...especially if that's what you GENERALLY do.

Life in the Dating Lane can be sooooo darn complicated at times. During Rush Hour, things can get tough and traffic can stall. It is important to ask the tough question and be ready for the tough answers to avoid unnecessary traffic jams. Though I generally head for the next exit, I think instead this time I will take a few minutes out to specify what it is that I need and what I desire...hopefully it will be taken well and this bump on the road will be paved soon.

XoXo,
CC

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I’ll Take Your Man!

We’re all familiar with the Salt-n-Pepa hit song “I’ll Take Your Man,” but how far would you go to hurt another woman to get the man that you want?

I have had a crush on a guy for over a year. I know….sounds so school girl. And it actually is a bit silly but you like who you like and I like Thomas. I met him through a mutual friend and from the second I saw him there was instant physical chemistry. It was the kind where everyone in the room can tell that there’s a vibe between you and this person. Long story short…we hung out for awhile and messed around a little. During this time, I was under the impression that he had broken up with a girlfriend but knew that he was feeling somewhat “conflicted” about the situation. We would mess around but never quite take it to the next level. The conflict was always in the way. Eventually things cooled down and we stopped spending time together but kept in touch via instant messenger. We would chat all the time and flirt a lot but would never actually make concrete plans to get together. Eventually, Thomas tells me he has a long-distance girlfriend. He expresses that he’s frustrated with the distance and knows that at some point someone (probably he) will have to make a move to be closer. He’s openly said that he isn’t happy but is committed to the relationship.

So…my dilemma is what to do with my crush on this guy. The reckless and selfish side of me wants to seduce him and see how far I can go to get what I want. But the mature and responsible side of me knows better. As a woman, I’ve learned that what goes around comes around and as we like to joke around in our neighborhood, “you get it how you live.” Why would I want a piece of a man that is obviously committed to someone else? Don’t I think enough of myself to wait for the man that only wants to be with me? And more importantly, why would I want to tear apart a relationship and break the heart of a woman who’s done absolutely nothing to me. If the shoe were on the other foot and another woman had the same opportunity with my man, I’d hope she’d consider my feelings. Problem is…as women we don’t often do that. Instead we go for what we want and deal with the wreckage later. What a lot of women don’t understand is that most men are only as good as their last relationship and if he treated her without respect…chances are he’ll treat you the same way.

Before I sign off, I want to clear Thomas’ name and say that he’s probably one of the most respectful and committed young men I’ve known. Not to give away all my business but he definitely could have had the goodies back in the day, if he wanted. Yet, he kept his composure and respected his relationship. I respect that in a man. We’ve actually managed to become friends and only flirt occasionally online. It’s all innocent but I can’t help but admit I still have a small crush.

Despite my crush, I know that I respect myself, Thomas and his relationship enough to draw a line in the sand and stay on my side.

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Does Size Matter?

We wouldn't be human if we didn't have preferences- right?

I have a list of requirements or shall I say "hopefuls" that my HIM should encompass. I will get to that in my next post, however, after a chat with some of my girlfriends, I realized that many of us agree on one thing- he should be packin' *Sniggles*

No I am NOT speaking of packing a Smith & Wesson…the weapon I am talking about resides in his pants alright- The Magic Stick!

Does size matter?

I have heard many people say that "it isn't about the size of the ship, but rather the motion in the ocean." That sounds all good, but for real ladies….do ya really wanna waste ya time on a man with a pencil for a penis? Seriously?

This topic strikes up a memory.
Picture this My Hometown before the turn of the century: I was a novice in the sexual aspect. I had only had one partner at this time- my high school sweetheart. I was curious to experience sex with someone else, simply because all of my girlfriends were ranting and raving about how good sex was and I just couldn't relate. I assumed they were getting something that I wasn't cuz it was take it or leave it for me, and I preferred to just leave it.

Charmed and I went to a college party and we hooked up with these guys we had been recently dating. We thought we were hot stuff because we were fresh out of high school and these guys were older than us with real jobs, cars and apartments! Our gentleman callers were cousins, and hung tight, which was to our advantage since she and I hung tight as well. My gentleman caller we will call Mr. White. Mr. White was tall, dark and handsome and he was FINE AS HELL! Mmm Mmm Mmm. Just thinking about how fine that man was makes me quiver.

Anyways, the night came to an end and Charmed decided that she wanted to go home with her Gentleman Caller. Being that she drove, that kind of left me out in the dark, so my Gentleman Caller offered to bring me home. I accepted, but somewhere along the way, both of us decided that instead of me going home, I would go to his house. I was kind of excited that I would now be able to compare my sexual experiences! Yay for me I thought.

We went into his bedroom and then proceeded to get to business. Remember y'all, I was a novice. We started making out and had four play, etc. It was now time for the main event…well…I never realized when the "event" began. This dude was so small, I couldn't tell the difference between his manhood and his finger! And to make matters worse he kept sliding out….and every time he did so he would say "oooops!" That word became a long standing joke between my friends and I.

Since then I've Incorporated something that I like to call the finger test. With the finger test, I am able to judge the girth of a subject's penis using my middle finger and thumb for an assessment. I test to see exactly where my thumb lands on my middle finger as I wrap them around the penis. Folks laugh, but it matters to me!

There is a flip side of this though. A man who is packin' too much can be scary! I will run in the opposite direction of an overly endowed man! I'm a little chick- I need the happy middle.

Does size really matter? If a guy is lackin' packin', is it ok for him to over compensate in other areas of the sexual realm?

What about if the guy is hung low? Is that more or less appealing? Hell, is sex even a requirement in your book? Here I go with my weak flesh worried about all of the wrong things. SMH.

Lesson of the day: I am not one to settle for mediocrity. Being average is not appealing to me, that is, unless you are a man with an average penis size. I can not and will not take an overly endowed man. I will run from you! Yeah- I'm scared of the d***. So what! BUT I will laugh in the face of a short short man…."don't want, don't want, don't want no itsy bitsy, teenie weenie, shriveled little short, short man." LMAO!

XoXo,

CC

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BINGO

I have quite a few very attractive single girlfriends. We are often in awe of each other because we are all very beautiful, successful women with no diseases and most of us have no children. We all have degrees, some of us even have multiple degrees including Masters. BUT none of us are in committed relationships. I know I know, you can't believe that women like us are single can ya? Most men can't believe it either. I have no clue why some worthy man hasn't snagged him a good wife out of the bunch yet, but I think part of the problem may be that when we go out together, men just don't know who to choose! Though none of us really look alike, we are all very aesthetically appealing, and unless you are a man with a defined "type" then any man who just loves beautiful women would have a problem choosing.

Most of the time, my friends and I don't have many problems choosing the men that we like and be interested in talking to. We all pretty much have defined "types" and hardly every stray away from the molds. However, there is one slight problem. One of my good girlfriends who we will call Rock-N-Roll has the same "type" as I do.


Rock N Roll is BEAUTIFUL. She is also a few yrs my senior and beats me in the aggression department. Her confidence and sexiness is admirable and at times I feel like her understudy since I am more reserved and shy. I listen to her tricks of the trade when it comes to dating and even incorporate them into my own repertoire every now and then. BUT I realized recently that we are gonna have major problems in The Dating Lane.

It all started one Saturday night at a Birthday Party. We were in our hometown at this swanky lil joint celebrating the life of one of our Nearest and Dearest (Darlene). The room was buzzing with beautiful women and handsome men….but all of the guys there- we knew, and we knew that they were either spoken for or full of s%*t. Then, up walks this stunningly handsome man with the prettiest white teeth I've ever seen! He was introduced to our group as a friend of a friend. The joke amongst the others in the group once they saw the guy (knowing he was me and Rock-N-Roll's "type") was "5-4-3-2-1 and they're off." LOL! Both of our eyes lit up. I batted my eyes at the guy, she batted and winked hers; I shook my shimmy, she two-stepped (figuratively)….up until the point that she got tired of me checking ole boy out, she looked at me and said "You know he's a hook-up for me- RIGHT?!" In other words: "Back of Bitch!"

Insert *sigh* here. She trumped me. Again.

A week or two later, we were in the same swanky spot doing a little PR and out of the side of my eye I spotted a handsome man. I leaned in to Darlene and told her about the guy in the corner who I had my eye on…Rock-N-Roll was a few steps ahead of us and didn't hear the convo that was taking place behind her….then all of a sudden, she started eye-balling my prospect! YES! I was like "Oh uh uh! I saw him first!" I know you guys are probably like "Grow Up!" but when you and your girlfriend- someone you hang out with on the regular, obiviously like the same type of men, it can become a MAJOR faux pas! TRUST! It was then that the concept of saying BINGO was formed. I told her that I was gonna have to start calling BINGO on the guys I like. The concept came from a game that I used to play as a child. I'm sure we have all played this game a time or two. Anytime my cousin and I saw a car or a house that we liked we would yell out BINGO. The first person to say BINGO was the winner and the winner was the fake owner of the car or house. Well, I have come to a sad state in The Dating Lane….Rock N Roll and I must call BINGO when we see a man we're interested in. That way, if we plan on making the first move, then we won't be competing against each other. However, if HE makes the first move, then it's all fair game.

It seemed to be working well, this new found strategy of ours. A few days later, we went to PF Changs for dinner. When we sat down the server came to take our drink order and to my surprise Darlene and Rock-N-Roll knew the guy and were pretty friendly with him. He was my "type" I was all ready to give him the "welcoming eye" and before I could say anything about it Rock-N-Roll softly said "BINGO!"

BOOOOOOO! I quit!

XoXo,

CC

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Going Dutch.

Does this term even still exist? Do people still go out on dutch dates with members of the opposite sex? I have never been approached by a guy who even suggested going dutch on a date. If I had, I would probably laugh in his face and then dismiss him politely.

"I ain't sayin' I'm a gold-digger, but I ain't messin' with a broke....."

I am well aware that going dutch doesn't necessarily mean that a man is broke. But to me, it constitutes his @ss being cheap as hell and shows that he isn't a Gentleman. I expect a lot out of my Gentleman Callers (all readers of The Glass Menagerie please stand up). And one of those things I expect is for his @ss to pay for the first few dates.

I am not the chick who believes that the financial responsibility of dating is solely the male's responsibility. I have been known to treat a guy a time or two if he has been good to me. I have a job and make a decent living, I can afford to do so. But first, he must show me a good time. He must prove to me that he isn't trippin' over spending a couple of dollars on a meal and some drinks. Shoot. He has to eat too. That's the least he could do. That brings me to share with you an experience I've had recently.



Here's the story: A girlfriend of mine (T) invited me and another one of our girlfriends (K) to meet her and her guy friends at a sports bar to watch the game. We accepted the invite since we didn't have anything else on our agenda, and proceeded to the spot to meet T and the fellas. To shorten a lengthy story, T was there with about (5) guys all of whom she knew but we didn't. They had already started eating (wings and fries) and had a few beers on the table. K and I were starving so we proceeded to order our own food since it didn't seem like they were willing to share.

The guys were pretty cool and things were going well.....until the check came. There were no separate checks, so the server put all of our orders on the same bill. Keep in mind, K and I came after they had already started eating and drinking, so we ordered food for the two of us to share and a couple of drinks. We didn't expect the guys to pay for our meal; after all we didn't even know them. But we never guessed that what happened would have happened.

Do you know that these fools started itemizing the bill! But wait, here is the kicker! They weren't even doing it correctly! They were going back and forth with each other about how much they were gonna give according to how much they ate. YES! Grown men itemizing chicken wings! One said he only ate two wings and drank one beer so he felt he should only have to give $10.00 and another one was like "I'm only giving $20.00 and I didn't even eat $20.00 of food", and then there was one who said he only had a water and that was free so he didn't owe anything...

K and I were stomped. We sat there in awe looking at each other like WTF?! Meanwhile T is acting like she is oblivious to what is going on, so it was my assumption that this was their common practice when bill time came. Never once did she come out of her pocket for a dime, but she didn't eat either- guess she just had a water too.

Before we arrived at the Sports Bar, K. and I stopped at the ATM to get some cash just in case we had to pay for our own food and drinks. Good thing we did. Even though she and I split an order of wings and fries and had our bill would've been about $30.00 total ($15.00 each), we each contributed $25.00. I refused to put up anything more, which was unfortunate, because the cheap @ss dudes we were with were still bickering over the check. That was our cue to go. K and I have such a vibe that neither one of us had to speak a word- we both picked up our handbags and headed for the door. I feel so sorry for that server because I doubt if she even got a tip. I was preturbed because the food was not that hot for us to spend $50.00 on. I would have rathered going somewhere I enjoyed as oppose to spending my money there.

Later that eve T called to tell me that her homeboys wanted to know why we left so early and didn't come with them to the after spot. I refrained from telling her the truth. I didn't know how to tell her nicely that her friends were cheap @sses that I don't choose to hang out with. She also made the mistake of asking me if it was OK for me to give one of the el cheapo's my phone number because he was interested in me. Was she really serious? Was HE really serious? Did he actually think he made a good first impression? HA HA HA HA HA! I told her to tell him that I don't date grown men that wear jerseys, and just left it at that. Really I don't. But even more than that....

"I ain't sayin I'm a gold-digger, but I ain't messin with no CHEAP......"

XoXo,

C.C.

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Always Follow Your FIRST MIND!

Ever since I've become abstinent, I have been very careful about agreeing to dates that involve going to some one's house or allowing someone to come to mine. It just cuts down on unnecessary awkwardness, and it doesn't allow the opportunity for the moment to creep up on me. Yes folks, as you can tell, I don't trust myself alone with a man I'm attracted to. That can lead to the unknown, and I'd hate to be the tease. We've ALL been the tease before. U know the girl I'm talking about...the one who makes out with a dude, does all of the dry hunchin' and rollin' with him...even takes off her bottoms, and then says- "No, We Can't Do This," only to have him ask to just stick the tip in- whatever that means. We are grown @ss adults, we BOTH know that more than just the tip will be used....but I digress.


So, this dude (I won't dare to give him the honor of Bachelor-status) invited me out on a date. Let's call him Trey. I've been knowing Trey for about 8 months. we met through a mutual friend. Our initial outings have always consisted of group activities with our mutual friend and others. I wouldn't really call them dates. I could tell he was interested in me, and vice versa, so he finally got up the gull to ask me out.

The initial plan was for us to go to Dave & Buster's to watch the game on Monday night and play some arcade games. He swears he is a Pac-Man Pro. Whatever. He was supposed to call me at 6pm to set up a definite time for us to meet at the location. He called as scheduled, but he wanted to change the plans....see....he had to work the next morning, and he had to get up really early to go to work, so he wanted to know if I would come over to his house instead. He suggested that he would cook or order Chinese take-out and we could watch a movie. Hmmmmmm. Ya know ya girl was NOT feeling that at all!

My first mind told me HELL to the NO. But I didn't verbalize it, and instead I told him that I would call him back in a few minutes. My thing is this, he always knew that we were going to hook up on a school night; he always knew that he had to go to work early the next morning; he always knew that he had NO intentions on going to Dave & Buster's, so why suddenly spring this on me at the 23rd hour, 59th second?

Well, in true C'est Chic fashion, I ended up ignoring my FIRST MIND and went on ahead to his house. I got there around 7pm and planned to only stay for a couple of hours. I expected to walk in and smell the aroma of a home-cooked meal. SIKE! Nothing on the stove at the Apartments on the Park. :( I asked Trey what was up with dinner. He said that he was waiting for me to see what I wanted to eat from the Chinese joint. Sidenote-I don't do Chinese joints. If it isn't Pei Wei or P.F. Changs, then I am NOT gonna eat it. The only joint I will eat Chinese food from was NOT in this city. I didn't want to sound like a Prima Donna, so I just followed his lead and ordered the Happy Family (how can u go wrong with seafood). When the food came, it was the worsT! Yes worsT. The rice had peas and carrots in it, it was still white, and not tasty. I couldn't find the seafood due to all of the shrubbery. I looked up at Trey and he was eating that junk like it was the Last Supper!

Fast forward to the end of the meal. Trey took my half eaten meal and put it in his fridge. I followed him into the living room and plopped on the sofa in front of the plasma TV. I started surfing through the DVDs that were on the table in front of me. Trey cut off the light in the living room where I was and nodded his head toward the bedroom. UH UH! Why do we have to go to the bedroom? There is a perfectly fine television sitting right here...an expensive one at that. Why in the sam hayle do we have to go to the bedroom to watch a movie????

So do you all know what I did? Yep, I went into the bedroom, sat on the floor and waited for him to put on the movie. He took his time strolling around putting imaginary items in their places. I was giggling on the inside because I knew that he was trying to burn some time. After five minutes of nothingness, I took it upon myself to put the movie in the DVD player and started watching it. The movie was Alpha Dog. I've seen it before, but I wasn't gonna make a big stink. It was OK enough for me to watch it again. Trey didn't join me on the floor in front of the TV, instead he opted for the bed. I guess he thought I would hop up there with him, but he was sooooooo wrong. I sat my happy @ss right there on that floor in that big bean bag he doesn't use. He didn't have the courage to ask me to join him in the bed for whatever reason. Maybe he could feel the vibe I was giving- the vibe that said "I wish you would...." Eventually, he got off of the bed and joined me on the floor where he laid his head in my lap. Half way through the movie I began to hear some noises and they weren't coming from the TV. This fool had fallen asleep! The date had become POINTLESS! (As if it wasn't already). Oh uh uh!

I could not believe my ears. He was snoring so loud it was ridiculous. After the snoring had become so loud that I could no longer hear the TV, I started tapping him on his head to let him know that I was about to leave. This fool acted like he was in a coma. He did not reply. He didn't flinch even when I started lightly smacking him upside his head. Who sleeps that hard??? Really??? Who does that???

I hopped my happy @ss up from off of the bean bag letting his head plop into it. He mumbled something, and I said in a loud voice directly in his ear "Say bruh- I'm out!" He mumbled something else. I said it again and followed it up with "Come and walk me to the door." No reply. He didn't budge. I nudged him with my foot- no movement. By this time, I was a little annoyed and oh so ready to go. So I said it one more time "I'm leaving Trey!" Nothing. So I picked up my purse, put on my shoes, and left out of the house. I had to leave the door unlocked. It was a little after midnight by this time, and I was walking full force through the parking lot to my car. I got inside, locked the doors, and slapped the steering wheel.

This fool couldn't even get up for a second to lock his frickin' door! WTF?! Really homey, were you THAT tired? I haste to believe it. He was such a frickin' gentleman. The next day (or technically later that same day) around 5am I received a text to my phone....YES....a TEXT....not a CALL. The text said "Hey Lady, You made it home safely?" I never responded. Not even to this day. For all he knows I'm in the revene outside of his crib. Why does he care? Sleep was more important to him at the moment, my safety was no where on his personal radar. A-hole.

Moral of this story: Always follow your FIRST mind! A woman's intuition is the best thing God could have bestowed upon us. I will be the first to admit that God has given me a great spirit of discernment, and at times I allow my stupidity to override it. I am learning to hone in on those gut feelings and follow my first mind. Had I done so in this case, I wouldn't have been in the position to have to fake like I enjoyed some SARS infested Chinese food, nor would I have had to deal with him drooling on my brand new Joe's Jeans. Dry cleaning is expensive! Next time, no Dave & Buster's no DATE. Punk.

XoXo,
C.C.

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