My New Year's Resolution for 2009: Invest in A Background Check on my Gentlemen Callers!
I've decided that I'm going to start doing background checks on the guys that I date. Not just any guy, mainly the ones that I start investing interest in. Let's see, hmmmm....after about the 3rd date, I think it will be safe to invest $29.99 and find out if he is actually worth my time.
The background check isn't to find out if he has a six figure income or if he lives in a house atop a hill. It is to find out if said guy is actually who he portrays to be! This bright idea didn't come about out of sheer nosiness or boredom. It is has come from a place of necessity. What is the likelihood of one single woman, becoming involved in some form or fashion with (3) married men, disguised as single men, in a 4 month period?! That has been the common theme in my dating lane experiences as of late.
I think it has most to do with the fact that most of the men I date, live in other cities. I used to think that dating men long distance was a good thing. The whole "absence makes the heart grow fonder" deal, coupled with the fact that I love SPACE, made dating long distance a-ok in my book. What I am beginning to learn in my older age, is that distance tends to allow more room for dishonesty. The distance allows some dishonest men (and I'm sure women as well) to live double lives. They can take a break from the monotony of their everyday lives and MARRIAGES and travel down south for a great time with a great girl.
In a conversation with one of the "wives" she brought to my attention that her husband stated to her in a recent email "Maybe I do want to be single sometimes...maybe I do want to meet a woman with no children who can get up and go whenever...maybe I do want to have an equal partner that actually brings something to the table, someone who dresses differently and has style and class." She actually sent me that email correspondence between the two of them. Doesn't this sound JUST like me?? Am I now someone's conquest? I felt so sorry for her! She seemed so sweet and sounded so hurt when she found out that not only was he thinking of doing such, he actually WAS!
Out of the (3) of them, only (1) actually took me by surprise. The other two I haven't known for an extended period, and basically were still in the "getting to know you" phase. Though they each exhibited their own share of sketchy behavior that set off my inner alarm, it was nothing that would have led me to believe that they had WIVES. The exception, however, I have known for years and I was totally blind-sided and disappointed when I found at that he has been omitting the fact that he married the mother of his child. Lies of omission are still LIES. I can't help but think that if I would have done a little investigation, I would have known before hand that none of these guys were worth my time. Their representatives were in full effect and shielded the assholes that resided within. This is enough to make any sane woman crazy! I totally feel Jazmine Sullivan and understand why some women "Bust Windows Out of Cars!" As she says, "You may think it's juvenile, but I think I deserve a reason to smile."
So...All the Single Ladies...$29.99 is worth your time!
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