I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T or N-O-T

"She got her own house, she got her own car, two jobs work hard you a bad broad..."
~Webbie

There are so many things wrong with the song INDEPENDENT which is supposed to serve as a hip-hop woman's anthem. The song is recorded by an MC who goes by the name of Webbie. The only thing I can find right about the song is the beat. I often find myself dancing to it, but I really don't want to because I hate the lyrics.

In this song, the author details the type of woman that he believes is Independent. "Baby Phat just relax, front your own flat screen...she cooks, she cleans, don't make her make a scene." After reading the lyrics in its entirety, it is my perception that the author is in search of a woman with enough money to pay her own bills, buy her own car; a woman who will "tell you that she don't need a goddamn thing....she a hot lil thing".

Here's my take on this....and ya'll already know that my word is the gospel :)
I am a single woman. I buy my own clothes, pay my own bills, own my own car etc. I don't depend on anyone to do things for me, even though I appreciate it when they do. However, I don't consider myself an INDEPENDENT woman. Why? Because I do all of these things because I HAVE to, not because I WANT to. It's what I must do to survive. I'm not going to sit around and wait for a man to come along to do these things for me. But that doesn't necessarily mean that I'm an independent woman (by the author's description). Because if I had a man, I would be more than willing to relinquish those duties to him.

Real Talk. If my man "called me on my cellular" and asked me if I needed anything, if there was something I desired, I would voice it. It is a man's general nature to WANT to do for his woman. Men need to feel needed. When they don't feel you need them, they become intimidated and feel as if there is no place for them in your life.

These new age men, who find comfort in women who are "independent", are less than men IMO. These are the same men that will complain later on in the relationship, when that very same INDEPENDENT woman that they are boasting about, cusses them out, tells them where to shove it and goes on and on about how she doesn't need him cuz he ain't ish...and so on and so forth. Then, she will no longer be an INDEPENDENT woman, she'll be a B****.

MEN, MAKE UP YOUR MIND!

There is an enormous difference between a woman who has the ability to take care of herself financially and otherwise, but who is also willing and able to allow her man to be the provider he should be; and a self proclaimed INDEPENDENT woman that makes it known to any and every man she meets that she is EVERY WOMAN and don't need his ass for anything, because she is INDEPENDENT and got her own house and her own car.

I am not saying that women should be "takers" and men should be "givers". What I am saying is that men should watch what they wish for. That very same woman that you are praising today for being INDEPENDENT, will be the same woman to embarrass you and make you feel like less than a man because you haven't been contributing monetarily to the relationship. Instead, look for and align yourself with the woman who has the ability to contribute but the desire to UNITE.

XoXo,
C'est Chic