Friend Shady!

About a year ago I was dating this guy who we shall call "Harlem". Harlem and I dated for a few months before the relationship dissipated. We parted ways amicably; he was a nice guy, but just not for me. In the midst of our dating, I introduced him to one of my good girl-friends. They ended up hitting it off and eventually exchanged contact info. Their intentions were never to hook up, at least I don't think the intentions were, more than just that of a big brother/little sister type of friendship. I had no idea until recently that they were still in contact with each other.

Said good girl-friend was moving into a new home and as I was there in my Aunt Jemima housework-clothing assisting her in moving boxes inside her new abode, she casually made mention of "Harlem" being en route to tour the new digs. I was caught completely off guard. I was in no shape to anyone, let along one of my exes! I make it a point to always look fresh-to-death when in the presence of someone I used to date! Before I could meander my way to the front door and break out of that joint before Harlem appeared, the doorbell was dinging.

For the first time we had seen each other since our mutual parting, I was NOT on point. He gave me a slight once over as I stood there in sweats and a baseball cap, and let out a loud roaring laugh. "You look like you're about to go and stick up a bank!", he commented referencing my all black attire. I simply rolled my eyes.

I could not believe that said good girl-friend had set me up like that! I was not a happy camper. After a few pleasantries were exchanged, I excused myself and left the house in search of some solitude. Later that night, I called good girl-friend and expressed my thoughts. "I am not adverse to you and Harlem being cool, however, when he is going to be in MY presence, can you give me a better heads up? Matter of fact, would you mind making it so as to where he and I never really have to cross paths in a comfortable setting- such as your home, unless it's for a gathering of some sort?"

Was I asking to much? I simply wanted a heads up. I expected her to give me advance warning when Harlem would be in my presence so that I could make the executive decision on whether or not I wanted to be there. I didn't feel as if that was too much to ask of her.

Weeks passed by and several other networking events put Harlem and I in each others presence due to good girl-friend as the common denominator. I was growing more and more annoyed, but decided not to make mention of it again. As these events took place, Harlem and I began casually flirting with each other, and even scheduled going out on a date or two. After all, we did enjoy each others company, even if we had no intentions of becoming exclusive.

Especially due to the fact that Harlem and I started recreationally dating again, I told good girl-friend to NOT invite him to our inner most personal get togethers. Trips to the gym, Friday nights on our rented party bus, and bar-hopping should NOT be an open invitiation for Harlem given by good girl-friend. She did not oblige.

A few days ago I was sitting on my couch when the door bell rang. In walked good girl-friend along with a female relative of hers and Harlem. It eventually came out that Harlem and the female relative had just gone out on a date. He was obviously uncomfortable, and left my house almost as soon as he walked in. I played the role of the good hostess and entertained the company for a short amount of time. After they left, I was FUMING!

How could good girl-friend find herself comfortable enough to not only hook up her cousin with my ex (of whom she KNEW I had started seeing again) BUT invite them BOTH to MY home???? The audacity! And when I brought this to her attention, she down-played my feelings about the situation. I attempted to put the shoe on the other foot and she waved it off as me just having a bad day- and said that I needed to calm down and get a life. "Seems to me like you still have feelings for Harlem." she said coyly as she exited the front door. "Actually, I don't. However I think that what you are doing is classless and distasteful." I responded. She told me good night and then exited the premises.

Am I over reacting to this? Do I have the right to be very disappointed and upset with MY friend for playing match-maker with MY ex and her cousin???? Isn't that shady???