Workplace Fling!

For as long as I can remember (even before I held my own), I've known of the supposed taboos of dating co-workers. When I was younger, I remember watching shows or hearing family members discuss how office trysts always seemed to end in a mess for everyone involved...and even those who were not. So, when I joined the workforce, I promised myself that I would do my best to never cross that line. Well...that was until...Devon came along!

Generally, dating co-workers or even being tempted to date co-workers never really posed a problem. You see...I work in the fashion industry, which means there are lots of women and lots of gay men. Encountering a straight, overtly masculine man where I work is a rarity. So much so that when one does come along, he's generally swooped up by some lady in waiting! On top of my work environment consisting predominately of women and gay men, it's also very "race neutral" (for lack of a better phrase). By "race neutral," I mean that there isn't a lot of diversity where I work and meeting the "type" of men I like at work is likely to never happen. So..with all these "obstacles"... a girl should feel safe, right?

Wrong!

Imagine my surprise when I'm sitting at my desk, furiously focusing my attention on a very hot project. when I notice Devon standing in the hall talking to a co-worker. Just the sight of this straight and VERY sexy man wouldn't allow me to pull my eyes away! I'm embarrased to admit this but it's been a LONG time since I've seen such a fine specimen as that! Let alone one in my workspace! It took a second but once I caught myself starring, I turned my eyes to my computer screen and realized that I was not looking my fiercest today! I'd had a restless night's sleep and just threw myself together that morning. I immediately grabbed my make-up bag and ran from my desk (in the opposite direction) to the ladies room to make myself somewhat presentable. When I came out and was walking to my desk, I find Devon and another co-worker making rounds near my desk. My co-worker was introducing Devon to the team. As they approached my desk, my palms got sweaty and I tried my damndest to pretend not to even notice him there. When they finally made it to my desk, I was poised and ready to present myself in a professional but sexy way!! As they walked up, I crossed my legs and swung my chair around. And this could be expressed as the beginning of the end!

The minute we laid eyes on each other, it was obvious that there was a strong physical attraction radiating from both sides. We shook hands for what felt like 5 minutes and as Devon walked away, I noticed him turning back to check me out!! I felt like a 15 year old all over again. My heart was racing and I jumped on the phone to call C'est Chic as soon as I could. And of course she warned me of all the issues with dating a co-worker but encouraged me at the same time. In that moment, I decided that I wouldn't persue the situation but would let things run their course. And run...they did. On my way out the door, I ran into Devon in the stairwell. He stopped me and mentioned how excited he was to be working with me. He went on to ask me to lunch to talk about our company. He wanted to talk with someone about how he could succeed in his new job. So, being the polite and friendly person I am, I agreed to lunch the next day.

Lunch turned into dinners and before long, Devon and I were hot and heavy. We were spending nights together and even went on a weekend excursion together. Everything was going fine until we actually had to work on a project together. As the project manager, I was responsible for the ultimate success or failure of our project and it was my responsibility to lead our team. Needless to say, that didn't go over well with Devon. This confidant, charming, sexy man that I once knew was out the door!! Within days of starting the project, Devon turned into a difficult and bratty team member. Once I had to give him feedback on a piece he put together and he was not having it. He became very ugly with me and even went so far as saying that I was only giving him this feedback because of an argument we had a few nights earlier. Working with Devon was hell!! So much so that any time we spent outside of work was strained and unenjoyable. By the end of the project, I didn't even see Devon with the same eyes. He'd turned from this beautiful man into a monster! So with the end of our project came the end of our relationship and friendship. I moved on from my job shortly after for a better position at a competitor. With the move I took many professional learnings...but the most valuable was definitely...don't date co-workers!