What do you do when your famous EX marries beneath you? I guess technically, you don't do anything. But how does it make you feel? And what does it stand for?
How often is it, that you see a high profile man on television or the net with his s/o and think to yourself "That's his wife?!" With a puzzled look on your face, you wonder why that man chose that woman. Knowing all of the options he must have (or have had) what compelled him to be with her? Then you catch yourself and think that you are being shallow. Shame on you! After all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder- right? Of course there is more to a person than just the physical. You start feeling bad for thinking horrible thoughts about Mr. HP and the Homely/Plain Jane that is his MRS.
I have dated my fair share of high profile men. As much as I hate to admit it, there is something intriguing about a man with power, money and flashing lights! And I guess you could say that I am the quintessential date for a high profile guy. But I seem to fall short of the MRS. material. Why?
Personally, I think it is safe to say that these type of men generally date women who are aesthetically appealing, charismatic, and intelligent. The DYME. But they always seem to marry the homely, submissive, average chick. The Plain Jane.
You guys remember the post about MAC right? You may have figured out from that post that MAC is a Mr. HP kind of guy. He recently exchanged "I Dos" with his homely, submissive, average chick. After seeing the pics from the ceremony, I have received many comments from friends and family that have stated what I've known for a while: MAC clearly downgraded.
Not to toot my own horn (TOOT!TOOT!), but I am confident that I run circles around the new MRS. in every area. However, I lacked something obviously. At least in MAC's eyes.
I am sure I am running the risk of sounding like the bitter EX, but this has happened to me on more than one occasion. I have been courted by a few high profile men, only to later find out that I am the EXACT opposite of the women they chose to wife.
This has left me perplexed to say the least. Did they date me because I was exactly what they didn't want in a wife but was the perfect arm candy at the time?
I am not alone in this. I personally know many women who also stand in this category along with me. Any man with good sense and good sight would want to hold tight and "wife" one of us- right? WRONG. Not the men that we tend to date and are attracted to. Not the MR. HPs.
After deep soul-searching and self evaluation, I realized that the problem really isn't me- it's them. I have come to the conclusion that many of these men tend to take the safe road when it relates to the "forever" term. They would much rather marry the woman that most men wouldn't look at twice, as oppose to marrying the DYME. Why? Because the DYME, in all of her beauty and savoir faire, makes them feel insecure- inadequate even. The high profile man needs for the attention to be on him at all times, the DYME threatens to steal his shine. Mr. HP needs to be confident that his MRS. wouldn't have any other options in the event that he shows his azz (which he most likely will do at some point in the relationship). He knows that the DYME, in all of her glory, could have any man walking- including other more HIGHER profile men. That makes him uncomfortable.
Men most times HATE competition, with women that is. Especially the high profile ones. Yes, I am generalizing, but please follow me. While they are flattered that other men find their woman attractive and intelligent, they are also insecure because of it. So, instead of living with the fact that they have a DYME for a wife, they would rather make a safe choice and choose the chic that they know no one else would look at twice. Mr. HP doesn't want to feel like the MRS. had many choices, but chose him. He wants to be the one with the upper hand. It is only right, in his eyes, that he is the only one with options. The homely average chick is flattered that Mr. HP has chosen her and would do NOTHING to run him away.
Mr. HP is ok with dating the DYME, and he may even entertain the idea of marrying her; they may even shack up together. That's how he gets his "street cred" or "dating cred" as I should call it. It flatters him to hear his colleagues, buddies and the like, marvel in her beauty and intelligence...it makes him proud to see her work a room and play hostess...but it also makes him uneasy at the same time. He realizes that exactly what he loves about her, everyone else does too. In his mind, that makes him expendable. Soooo, before he sustains an ego crush or lives an insecure life, he'd rather make the safe choice and seek out the Plain Jane.
Little does Mr. HP know, average doesn't equate undying love and adoration anymore than being a DYME equates the desire to seek out better options. Having been the DYME a time or two, I can safely say that in any relationship, whether with a Mr. HP or with an Average Joe, I have been hopelessly devoted. I am unequivocally 100% faithful when in a relationship. Just because I could get another man, doesn't mean that I wanted one. When I'm digging a dude that's it. It's about he and I. No one else could come between that bond. Even if the next guy is of a higher profile or possess better looks.
What Mr. HP can not decipher is true commitment because more often than not, he isn't offering it himself! These men tend to have one foot in and one foot out- in all of their relationships. Most times the lack of commitment can be attributed to his own guilty conscience. It has been this very example of insecurity and inadequacy that has led to the demise of many a relationship between Mr. HP and the DYME.
So where is the hope for a DYME like myself? Do we dumb-down? Dress in sweats? Hide our natural God-given assets behind large sunglasses and hats? Or do we continue being ourselves and wait for the man that will appreciate us in all of our DYMEness? I mean after all, if you are a DYME, there isn't much you can do to play it down. I think the latter is the most appealing option at the moment. There has to be some man (or men) out there that isn't intimidated by a fierce woman, and is equally fierce in his own right and comfortable in his own skin!
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It plays out the same way every time…you have a little too much to drink and before you know it…your mind starts racing and then your fingers start dialing, or in my case, texting. Why is it that alcohol somehow fills you with this magical “liquid courage” and urges you to do things you wouldn’t in your sober mind even dream of? Anyone who says they don’t know what I’m talking about has never been drunk!! We’ve all either done it ourselves or witnessed a friend making a call that we all know he or she should not be making. From there, we usually find ourselves tracing our steps and conversations the next morning, trying to figure out how embarrassed we should really be.
