Dating Chronicles: Mr. Big Shot

I couldn't make up these stories if I tried! I have a vivid imagination, but not this vivid. Sit back and relax and take a glimpse into my life in the Dating Lane.

This weekend was very eventful- to say the least. I have been attending a Cycling Class at my gym for a little over a month now. The class is held twice a week, and has a faithful following.

I am the "newbie" in the class, and a couple of weeks ago, while setting up my bike, one of the veteran members came over to make small talk with me. He told me his name was *G* and welcomed me to the class. "Pretty nice guy," I thought to myself. I worked out hard in the class that day...I was soooo proud of myself. At the end, I began limping my way over to the women's locker room. Boy, that seat is something else. It never ceases to violate me EVERY class.

*G* follows me out, and I didn't realize until I was halfway down the stairs that he was behind me. At the bottom of the staircase, he stopped me and handed me his business card. He said he wanted to meet me for lunch one day during the week and asked my availability. Cool. I give him my info, so that we could coordinate schedules.

Generally, guys that try to hit on me in the gym are not given the time of day. I loathe having some man salivate over my ass while I'm doing lunges. It seems so desperate to me when men approach women while they're trying to get their work-out on. But for some reason, I felt like I didn't have anything to loose, and *G* seemed nice enough, and it helped that he was fine ass hell.

So, later that day, I received an email from *G* asking me to meet him at this quaint little Cuban eatery north of my home. I oblige and am there promptly at the designated time.

The date started off pretty cool. We had decent conversation, he was very polite, and well-mannered. By all accounts this was a pretty good date. Then the check came. He reviewed the bill and proceeded to reach into his pocket to pay. Good right? Wrong.
Why did this dude pay the entire 68.00 bill and 20.00 tip in ONE DOLLAR BILLS??!!??!!

Something was definitely wrong with that picture! When he noticed me looking at him with the *side eye*, he attempted to explain. The bottom line was- he was headed to the strip club after our date. Well, at least he was honest. *Insert long SIIIIGGHHH*

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Dating Chronicles: The Third Wheel

I met Mr. W at the W Hotel's infamous Ghost Bar in Dallas, TX. Little ole me, made feeble attempts to get the bartender's attention; Mr W observed this and offered to speak on my behalf. Once he flagged down the bartender, I was finally able to order my drink, and once the bill came, Mr. W put it on his tab. We began conversing while I waited for my drink, and though he didn't physically appear to be the type of guy I was attracted to, he had great conversation. About an hour into our conversation, he invited me to lunch. I was only in town for a few days, so we agreed that lunch the next day would work for both of us.

The next day our lunch date was set for 2pm. I was staying at a downtown hotel and the restaurant was on the other side of town, so Mr W offered to be my chauffeur. Though I generally make it a point to drive my own vehicle on the 1st few dates, I obliged given the circumstances. As I stood outside waiting for him to arrive I couldn't help but notice the car that pulled up to the front of the hotel. With its music BLARING and 22" rims, a candy-painted Chrysler 300 stopped a few feet beyond where I was standing. The limo tinted windows obstructed my view inside of the vehicle, so I was unable to see inside. I shook my head at the stereotypical image in front of me. A few seconds later, my phone rang. It was Mr W. He was in the car with the loud music. Strike 1.

As I approached the passenger side of the car, the door flung open and out came a 6 foot something guy with a white t-shirt and some Air Force Ones. It wasn't Mr W. It was one of his friends. I recognized him from the other night at the Ghost Bar. He introduced himself as "Tim". I spoke cordially, he gave me a head nod and then hopped in the back seat. Strike 2.

The entire ride to the restaurant the music was at 100 when I need it to be at 20. There was no conversation- I mean, how could there be? Several times I thought about asking him to tone it down a bit, but I just couldn't get up the nerve.

We arrived at the restaurant- Olive Garden, where we were seated in a booth. I slid in on one side and he slid in on the opposite, with "Tim" occupying the seat to his right. Strike 3.

The entire 63 minutes we were at lunch, I barely said a word. Aside from placing my order with the waiter and a few other occasional comments here and there, I kept my mouth shut and just observed. The two buddies entertained each other while I sat fiddling with the sub-par Italian cuisine that sat before me. I was unimpressed with the whole outing. I could not wait to get back to my hotel room!

We proceeded to get back into the pimped out car with the music booming through the sub-woofers (or whatever you call those loud azz speakers). As we approached the hotel, he turned down the volume and told me that he had a great time and would call me later that evening. He even suggested hanging out later that night. NOT!

About 20 minutes after dropping me off, MR W sent me a text message saying: "You are so damn sexy it took everything in me not to hem you up!" Strike 4. First off, I hate when men refer to me as sexy and they don't even know me. It is so lustful. Secondly, my attire for the day was very modest and did not include any scantily clad or "sexy" clothing.

So my thoughts are this: "Ok, so maybe I have natural sex appeal- I don't doubt that. But please refrain from calling me Sexy! And dude, last time I checked, you were more engaged with your homeboy that tagged along with us, than you were with me! NOT.HOT."

I guess that's one of the reasons why he is 36 and single. Needless to say, I have not spoken to Mr W since. That was our first and last date.

CALGON TAKE ME AWAY!

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PSA: Going Dutch does NOT exist in my vocabulary!

We all know how I feel about going dutch. Check out Aunt Jackie's post on said topic. I couldn't have possibly written it any better. She hits the nail on the head. Check it out:

I Am Not Dutch.

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I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T or N-O-T

"She got her own house, she got her own car, two jobs work hard you a bad broad..."
~Webbie

There are so many things wrong with the song INDEPENDENT which is supposed to serve as a hip-hop woman's anthem. The song is recorded by an MC who goes by the name of Webbie. The only thing I can find right about the song is the beat. I often find myself dancing to it, but I really don't want to because I hate the lyrics.

In this song, the author details the type of woman that he believes is Independent. "Baby Phat just relax, front your own flat screen...she cooks, she cleans, don't make her make a scene." After reading the lyrics in its entirety, it is my perception that the author is in search of a woman with enough money to pay her own bills, buy her own car; a woman who will "tell you that she don't need a goddamn thing....she a hot lil thing".

Here's my take on this....and ya'll already know that my word is the gospel :)
I am a single woman. I buy my own clothes, pay my own bills, own my own car etc. I don't depend on anyone to do things for me, even though I appreciate it when they do. However, I don't consider myself an INDEPENDENT woman. Why? Because I do all of these things because I HAVE to, not because I WANT to. It's what I must do to survive. I'm not going to sit around and wait for a man to come along to do these things for me. But that doesn't necessarily mean that I'm an independent woman (by the author's description). Because if I had a man, I would be more than willing to relinquish those duties to him.

Real Talk. If my man "called me on my cellular" and asked me if I needed anything, if there was something I desired, I would voice it. It is a man's general nature to WANT to do for his woman. Men need to feel needed. When they don't feel you need them, they become intimidated and feel as if there is no place for them in your life.

These new age men, who find comfort in women who are "independent", are less than men IMO. These are the same men that will complain later on in the relationship, when that very same INDEPENDENT woman that they are boasting about, cusses them out, tells them where to shove it and goes on and on about how she doesn't need him cuz he ain't ish...and so on and so forth. Then, she will no longer be an INDEPENDENT woman, she'll be a B****.

MEN, MAKE UP YOUR MIND!

There is an enormous difference between a woman who has the ability to take care of herself financially and otherwise, but who is also willing and able to allow her man to be the provider he should be; and a self proclaimed INDEPENDENT woman that makes it known to any and every man she meets that she is EVERY WOMAN and don't need his ass for anything, because she is INDEPENDENT and got her own house and her own car.

I am not saying that women should be "takers" and men should be "givers". What I am saying is that men should watch what they wish for. That very same woman that you are praising today for being INDEPENDENT, will be the same woman to embarrass you and make you feel like less than a man because you haven't been contributing monetarily to the relationship. Instead, look for and align yourself with the woman who has the ability to contribute but the desire to UNITE.

XoXo,
C'est Chic

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BOYCOTT!!! Do NOT Cross Picket Line.

Remember those nights (when you were younger) that you fell asleep on the phone talking to the person you were dating at the time? Remember when you couldn't wait for said person to call you on the phone so that you could hear their voice? Remember how you felt the moment their number would show up on your caller id? It was something about hearing a person's voice that made you feel closer to them. Well, you can't feel that way these days....fonts don't have a tone.

I am convinced that text messaging is going to be the death of modern day relationships! I am calling for a boycott of text messaging for all women who are living Life in the Dating Lane. I must admit, I started off playing into the text messaging game while in the Dating Lane. I soon realized that text messaging gets abused in the worst way! I have been in the presence of men, who hold an entire conversation with one female, while on a date or chilling with another woman. I have experienced men who suddenly obtain the courage to say things via text that they would generally not say to a woman's face. And we aren't gonna begin to talk about the picture mail abuse. You know what I'm talking about- those d*** and cooch pics. I call them glamour shots.

I am sooooo not feeling this new technology as it relates to dating. It allows men (and some women, as well) the freedom to be deceptive and lie by omission. It allows men (and some women, as well) to be philanderers on a whole 'notha level! Text messaging creates dishonesty and messages via text can also be misinterpreted.

I understand that we all live busy lives. However, I also understand that people make time for what they feel is important. So I am quick to shoot down the fact that people can ONLY communicate via text because they are sooooo busy!

I mean, anything is okay within MODERATION, correct? I don't mind occasional texts from my gentlemen callers, especially those of the "thinking of you" nature. But I am not okay with text being the sole method of communication, with a phone call for clarification thrown in every now and again.

Let's go beyond the fact that texting allows men (and some women) to be dishonest, and take it a step further. Sending text messages as well as emails, can be anti-personal. Even beyond the anti-personal aspect, tones can not be determined via text. Voice inflictions can not be categorized via text. The sender's message is left for the receiver to interpret. Sometimes that very message can be misconstrued. Any way ya look at it, dating via text is just unacceptable.

Ladies, please join with me in the nationwide boycott of text messaging! When meeting a guy, immediately set the precedence that texting is NOT acceptable. Make it clear to your gentleman callers, that your sole method of communication will not be 160 characters or less. Let him know, that if he wants to speak to you, set up a dinner date, or meet you for drinks, that he must CALL you to do so. Texting is ONLY acceptable occasionally to say Hi, let you know that he is running late, or to tell you that he is thinking of you. This boycott is effective immediately and will last indefinitely. We can take back integrity in the Dating Lane one phone call at a time!

XoXo,
C'est Chic

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