Is it me...?

Let's face it...it's always easier to see the faults in others than it is to see them in ourselves. Take this blog for example, most of these entries chronicle the absurdities C'est Chic and I encounter as single women in the dating lane. We put our "gentlemen callers" in the spotlight and pick apart their eccentricities one by one. Nothing wrong with that really. I mean...that's why we're here. But it got me to thinking and forced a bit of introspection on my part. I've been single for over two years now and haven't met any guys that I'd really like to know beyond the first date. So I have to ask myself...has the right guy just not come along yet or...is it me?

No one is without their issues. Like everyone, I'm full of my own set of "ways," hang-ups and habits. For instance, I've noticed that I have an old habit of hiding. Often times, I appear aloof or disinterested around men as a means of protecting myself. Though there may be nothing to protect myself from, I tend to put on a tough exterior....as a defense mechanism. I prefer for a guy to show his interest in me first. I'm very old fashioned in that way. I generally don't like when a guy thinks I'm interested in them because then I feel like they think they have the upper hand. And having the upper hand over me is something that I do not like people to have or more importantly, think they have. The tragedy in this way of thinking is that by appearing aloof and disinterested, the (potential) good guys don't feel comfortable approaching me and can you blame them? I probably wouldn't talk to me either! So, I'm determined to appear more friendly and welcoming.


As many of you girls know..this is scary for so many reasons. It's as if smiling or making split-second eye contact is an invitation to any and every man that catches it - and often that ain't a good thing! But I'm trying to turn over a new leaf and take a new approach to life in the Dating Lane.

In an effort to kick off this "new me," I decided that I would use last weekend as my pilot run at appearing more approachable and friendly. On Friday night, C'est Chic and I decided to hit the town for drinks and meet up with one of C'est Chic's gentlemen callers and some of his friends. This would definitely be the perfect opportunity to try something new. When we approached the fellas, I brightly smiled at one and said hello. He was very responsive and quickly tried to strike up a conversation. Problem was that he wasn't actually with the guys we were meeting. He just happened to be sitting next to them. Imagine how annoyed I was once I realized that I was chatting it up with a guy I wasn't physically interested in AND he wasn't even one of the guys we were there to meet. But, embracing my new attitude, I continued to talk with Brian and tried to keep an open mind.

We continued to talk and it actually wasn't half bad. Brian was a pretty nice guy and though I wasn't physically attracted to him, I enjoyed our conversation. Unfortunately, he thought our conversation was a lead in to more conversations in the future. I had to pass considering we lived in different cities and there was really no spark, just pleasantries. All that to say, I think I may be on to something. I'm just warming up and though I'm nervous that I'll end up fielding more duds than studs, at some point I may just smile at my Special Perfect One and start something special.

Charmed