Mr. Mom

The older I get the more I have to deal with the reality that my HIM may indeed already come with some responsibilities. Long gone are the days where a woman must worry about her man taking care of his mom. These days, men have much deeper responsibilities....Offspring. If you are lucky, you may find one out there who only has one child. If you are really lucky, you may run across the almost non-existant few that have none. But, if you are anything like me, then you most often find the ones with a couple of kids and a couple of baby mamas.


I have made it a policy in the past to not date men with kids. It isn't because I have a great disdain for children, but it is because I am honest with myself. I am selfish. I like things to go my way, and when a man has a child, his child is his responsibility, not some chick that he is dating. With that being said, I never ever wanted to be the person to put a man in the horrible predicament of making a decision between me and his kids. That was never an option. I DO NOT respect men that don't take care of their kids, and I'm not just talking about financial responsibility either. I'm talking time as well.

I recently met a guy whom under general circumstances would be granted the elite status of Bachelorhood in my book. The one problem with this guy is, not only is he a father, he is a FULL TIME Father. A single parent. As in, no baby mama in sight! He is the sole provider for his kid. That is very admirable to me. But at the same time it is a slight turn off. Why you ask? Let me explain.


It isn't a turn off simply because he has a kid, but it is deeper than that. I am no longer that chick that dates men just for the sake of dating. I look at each date I have as an interview for Bachelorhood...which leads to an interview for Boyfriendship....which leads to an interview for Husbandom...which will hopefully lead to Happily Ever After (eventually). With that being said, I won't waste much time with someone who I don't think I am compatible with for whatever reason. The turn off is because I am looking at the bigger picture of things. I think about my single girlfriends who have children and the responsibility that comes along with those cute little crumb-snatchers. They can't indulge in a spontaneous vacation, or a late night rendezvous due to the fact that they have a child to make accomodations for- a prior responsibility. I think of my aunts, who haven't dated in years because they can't just up and go to the premier of a movie with a guy because their child has a recital or a football game that day. I think about all of those things and realize that, what I need in a Bachelor is more than he will be able to give. I will never be his priority. Ever. His child should always be in that #1 spot. I don't think that I am mature enough right now to deal with a man who is a full-time parent.

I am sure that many of you are out there shaking your head with a few four letter words exuding from your vocabulary wanting to tell me like it T.I. is....well save it, cuz I don't care to hear it. I'm just being honest. I have just gotten to the point where I am able to accept the fact that I may possibly have to have a ready made family, let along a full-time ready made family.

I don't have kids. I used birth-control for 10 yrs to ensure that I didn't have kids before I had a husband. I don't want kids right now. I am enjoying life without the responsibilities of another human being. Don't get me wrong, I love children. I have 4 little special crumb-snatchers that I would do anything for. But they have parents that I send them home to when I get tired of them, or when I feel like being spontaneous. I may be missing out on the best Bachelor out there do to my narrow-mindedness, but that's OK. I would rather back away now, than to get into something with him and then be pissed when he has to cancel our date cuz he forgot about the PTA meeting he had to go to for his kid.

XoXo,
C.C.