We’re all familiar with the Salt-n-Pepa hit song “I’ll Take Your Man,” but how far would you go to hurt another woman to get the man that you want?
I have had a crush on a guy for over a year. I know….sounds so school girl. And it actually is a bit silly but you like who you like and I like Thomas. I met him through a mutual friend and from the second I saw him there was instant physical chemistry. It was the kind where everyone in the room can tell that there’s a vibe between you and this person. Long story short…we hung out for awhile and messed around a little. During this time, I was under the impression that he had broken up with a girlfriend but knew that he was feeling somewhat “conflicted” about the situation. We would mess around but never quite take it to the next level. The conflict was always in the way. Eventually things cooled down and we stopped spending time together but kept in touch via instant messenger. We would chat all the time and flirt a lot but would never actually make concrete plans to get together. Eventually, Thomas tells me he has a long-distance girlfriend. He expresses that he’s frustrated with the distance and knows that at some point someone (probably he) will have to make a move to be closer. He’s openly said that he isn’t happy but is committed to the relationship.
So…my dilemma is what to do with my crush on this guy. The reckless and selfish side of me wants to seduce him and see how far I can go to get what I want. But the mature and responsible side of me knows better. As a woman, I’ve learned that what goes around comes around and as we like to joke around in our neighborhood, “you get it how you live.” Why would I want a piece of a man that is obviously committed to someone else? Don’t I think enough of myself to wait for the man that only wants to be with me? And more importantly, why would I want to tear apart a relationship and break the heart of a woman who’s done absolutely nothing to me. If the shoe were on the other foot and another woman had the same opportunity with my man, I’d hope she’d consider my feelings. Problem is…as women we don’t often do that. Instead we go for what we want and deal with the wreckage later. What a lot of women don’t understand is that most men are only as good as their last relationship and if he treated her without respect…chances are he’ll treat you the same way.
Before I sign off, I want to clear Thomas’ name and say that he’s probably one of the most respectful and committed young men I’ve known. Not to give away all my business but he definitely could have had the goodies back in the day, if he wanted. Yet, he kept his composure and respected his relationship. I respect that in a man. We’ve actually managed to become friends and only flirt occasionally online. It’s all innocent but I can’t help but admit I still have a small crush.
Despite my crush, I know that I respect myself, Thomas and his relationship enough to draw a line in the sand and stay on my side.
I have had a crush on a guy for over a year. I know….sounds so school girl. And it actually is a bit silly but you like who you like and I like Thomas. I met him through a mutual friend and from the second I saw him there was instant physical chemistry. It was the kind where everyone in the room can tell that there’s a vibe between you and this person. Long story short…we hung out for awhile and messed around a little. During this time, I was under the impression that he had broken up with a girlfriend but knew that he was feeling somewhat “conflicted” about the situation. We would mess around but never quite take it to the next level. The conflict was always in the way. Eventually things cooled down and we stopped spending time together but kept in touch via instant messenger. We would chat all the time and flirt a lot but would never actually make concrete plans to get together. Eventually, Thomas tells me he has a long-distance girlfriend. He expresses that he’s frustrated with the distance and knows that at some point someone (probably he) will have to make a move to be closer. He’s openly said that he isn’t happy but is committed to the relationship.
So…my dilemma is what to do with my crush on this guy. The reckless and selfish side of me wants to seduce him and see how far I can go to get what I want. But the mature and responsible side of me knows better. As a woman, I’ve learned that what goes around comes around and as we like to joke around in our neighborhood, “you get it how you live.” Why would I want a piece of a man that is obviously committed to someone else? Don’t I think enough of myself to wait for the man that only wants to be with me? And more importantly, why would I want to tear apart a relationship and break the heart of a woman who’s done absolutely nothing to me. If the shoe were on the other foot and another woman had the same opportunity with my man, I’d hope she’d consider my feelings. Problem is…as women we don’t often do that. Instead we go for what we want and deal with the wreckage later. What a lot of women don’t understand is that most men are only as good as their last relationship and if he treated her without respect…chances are he’ll treat you the same way.
Before I sign off, I want to clear Thomas’ name and say that he’s probably one of the most respectful and committed young men I’ve known. Not to give away all my business but he definitely could have had the goodies back in the day, if he wanted. Yet, he kept his composure and respected his relationship. I respect that in a man. We’ve actually managed to become friends and only flirt occasionally online. It’s all innocent but I can’t help but admit I still have a small crush.
Despite my crush, I know that I respect myself, Thomas and his relationship enough to draw a line in the sand and stay on my side.
1 comments:
You mind if I say something? M'kay.
His whole conflicted line sounds much like what married men tell their side pieces. Don't fall for it. He's being selfish. He's getting his IM attention from you but in a relationship w/someone else.
Contrary to popular belief, it is possible to meet a man who isn't with anyone and wants to be with you--no exuses. You don't seem like you're leaning towards trying to get him but still...
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